It was recently brought to my attention by Court, the editor of this website you're currently reading, that I've written 99 articles for Points in Case. Which means, of course, that this article (yes, this one right here) is the monumental 100th article I've written here! So in honor of this milestone I thought I'd take us all on a little trip down memory lane.
Yeah, like anyone would ever forget their first 69.
It all started way back in May of 2008 when I submitted an article to Court and he emailed me exactly two months later saying that he wanted to publish it. Almost a month after that, my first article, The Self-Checkout Movement, appeared on Points in Case. Five years and 99 articles later, it still takes Court about three months to answer an email or post an article that I send him. In fact, it's getting worse; I wrote this article back in March just after I blasted Lance Armstrong for always being a douchebag. Okay, that last part is horseshit, I've just been busy with other writing projects; Court's the best editor a writer could have (well except for those ones that… um… actually pay you).
Anyway, back to our stroll down memory lane. After putting a few more articles under my belt, I wrote one of my personal favorites, I am Going to Stab You Repeatedly, In Real Life. This was the article where I truly realized how special of a place Points in Case really was. You see, before this article, I just wrote a bunch of words and sent them off to Court to edit, but it was this article where I actually found, or made, all of the photos myself. I remember photoshopping a stream of piss coming out of Smokey the Bear and thinking, "I kind of love the fact that this photo will now exist in the world, because of me." Now, anyone who Googles "Smokey the Bear peeing" will not only instantly find that photo, but my writing as well, and something about that still cracks me up five years later. To this day, one of my favorite parts about writing for PIC is getting to create or alter ridiculous photos and write little comedic Easter eggs for them in the form of captions, or obscure mouseovers. After that turning point, I really hit my stride and began writing an article each and every week, which eventually led to the birth of my column A Loon with a View.
Sarcastic, eye-opening observations from someone crazy enough to tell you the truth and leave you questioning your own reality.
Over the years, I've written observational pieces on social interactions, touched on the differences between men, women, and how stupid we all are. I've addressed sexual logistics and even at times revealed personal details about my life, some of which no one wanted to even know.
We've settled arguments once and for all on hot bed topics that ring throughout society and even battled extreme prejudice on the home front. I've helped cure people of their ailments, and predicted world events in some cases years before they would occur. Didn't I predict and prepare you for Putin being a pompous prick with my post back in 2009?
Together we tackled hard topics like religion, Twitter and Google+, you know, because all three are equally as fucking ridiculous. We've battled evil denizens of the underworld together and in some instances still fight those battles to this day. I've even created and run contests for you dear readers to win fabulous prizes.
You've also listened to me rant comically on a vast array of subjects from the bizarre world of roadside memorials to how much of a dick Steve Jobs was. We've explored the strange nuances of Christmas songs, and their not so surprisingly rapey lyrics. We've had coffee together in the morning and shared our morning routines.
I've been with you on important holidays for the good, the bad, and the extremely awkward. And you've stuck by me as I've raped the comment section, over and over and over again without mercy.
Feel free to Disqus amongst yourselves.
In many ways, you precious readers (seriously, is anyone still reading this?) have been with me longer than most people's relationships and I don't take that lightly. I appreciate each and every one of you, more than you know, which is precisely why I still make it a point to respond to each and every comment, no matter how much it drives some people absolutely bananas. Okay, to be completely honest, the fact that they get so worked up about it is kind of like a little extra added bonus. Besides, it's the internet: everybody knows that half the comedy is in the misunderstandings that occur in the comment sections.
It's been a crazy ride these past five years and I want to take this time to thank all of you for not only putting up with me, but for also coming with me on this incredible journey. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. As long as there is something ridiculous to observe, you'll probably hear from this loon on the matter.
Thank you all for reading and I hope I provided you with at least a few laughs.