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Literate bartenders everywhere agree it's half National Enquirer, half Dear Abby, half Jerry Springer. Mix well and garnish with calculator.
This article may contain the following: razor-sharp wit, biting satire, and vicious sarcasm. Watch for jokes flying over your head.
When you're an AC/DC on the black/white spectrum, sometimes you have to grab the E. Mike and define yourself in stereo.
Hey Asshole, I know you like to talk shit, but you're not clever. Nice guys finish last, unlike your emotionally unsatisfied girlfirend.
emiketeaser
When your biting sarcasm is too tongue-in-cheek for your audience, you must bite your tongue lest your words fall on confused ears. Right?
At the moment, our foresight is a little askew, and our focus short-sighted, but a new age awaits as soon as we turn off the HD surround sound.
When your mind is tied up with sex, it's hard to get a safety word in edgewise. Bite the hand that needs you, if you're into that sorta thing.
As long as the media execs' pockets are getting fat, they'll continue to shove fast-food comedy down our throats. Mmm, tastes so... generic.
The reports are in, the investigation is closed, the data has been analyzed...and plagiarized: college students like to cheat.
When, in the course of human events, one deems it necessary to form ties with another, then in due process a union shall be formed. But not without rules.
The study of thermodynamics tells us that the opposite of hot is cool. Popping one's collar significantly blocks the sun and not the cock.