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Starting a cult takes devoted followers and an outrageous formula. Observe how Scientologists successfully incorporated galactic tyrants.
Which treasured childhood memories could make the leap to perverted instruments of gratification? Try Play-Doh and Slinky's on for size.
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50 years from now, some of today's hottest jobs will already be perfected by robots. Is your career path a dead end?
When it comes to legalizing marijuana, governments are like PMS-ing women: there's no using logic to convince them to change their minds.
If your best college memories involve cafeteria food and philosophy, my condolences. Bullshitting and sexual discovery is par for the course.
What could be so terrifying about taking every single item you own and packing it in your mother-in-law's box? Wait, that came out wrong.
How come it's the mindless ones who think we're intelligently designed? How about you get your God to CREATE some logic while he's at it.
On your way to securing the affection of a woman, you'll have to avoid a lot of potholes. You may even have to avoid some other holes too.
In the spirit of punching up some of the most boring Christmas classics, the movie names and plots are adjusted for a more diverse audience.
Which side will you take when the War on Christmas finally breaks out? Remember Jesus was a Jew, but Santa's just an alcoholic.
Learn how you came to be aroused in less time than it takes you to finish masturbating. You'll breathe a sigh of fulfillment afterwards.