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So you're out of money, but you're not ready to cut your liver any slack, huh? It's time to cross the boundary of bar ethics.
Dave's Casual Friday at the office turns out to be Freaky Friday in the bedroom after an exciting ex-girlfriend reconnection.
The main problem with slavery wasn't its existence but its execution. If only we could have the flourishing empire without the nasty racial slurs.
In this materialistic world, don't forget that money can't buy you Joy. She only does private dances... plus, she's not working tonight.
As far as bars go, the more outrageous and unusual the location, the better the drinks. Atypical winners include an ice fortress and prison.
Fame is a tricky thing to quantify, but as long as there are autograph-seekers and celebrity sightings, there will be a social pecking order.
These basketball greats may have been hot in their prime, but they definitely went cold on a dime. This is why you quit while you're ahead.
Other sports burnouts besides Bonds need to vent their misdeeds too. Somebody open a window, this room smells like old farts and marijuana.
When the gavel falls, you better know if a drunk cheerleader giving you head makes you an athlete. All rise for the Honorable Judge Jock.
From lumpy, Mesopotamian hand brews to watered-down Miller Lite assembly line bottles, beer has never been a truly smooth creation.
PETA doesn't fight for animal rights, it fights against human convenience. Can you say Phony Exasperating Tiresome Assholes?
Attending a sci-fi convention is like arguing on the internet: even if you're the best, you're still a loser... and you'll stop for Leia porn.