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Some of these are legal misconceptions, others are things that might land you in a prison cell next to a guy named Fuckmissile without you having any idea why.
If the conditions that make you fat or skinny, exercise-addict or couch-potato, can be traced back to conditions out of your control, then who's fault is it? Your parents'.
When it comes to the horrors of nature, there is absolutely nothing more terrifying and deadly than the treacherous oceans that engulf our planet.
I had no idea if my computer even HAD a warranty. But when have I ever let logic stand in the way of berating someone undeservedly for the sake of comedy?
That's right, NASA sent a rover millions of miles away to Mars to etch-a-sketch a giant dong all over its stupid face like it was passed out drunk at a frat party.
"Oh my dear sweet literal fuck that is a volcano I am on a volcano oh fuck a volcano is steaming under my feet and I am not a lucky person I am going to die!"
Here is how the Catholic Church can ensure that it makes it through the little hiccup that has been the 21st century.
Astronaut Killer is lurking in the bushes. Dumb girls giggle while doing cartwheels in short shorts and no bras. Astronaut Killer is watching, breathing heavily.
AMC made a show about competitive taxidermy. Which means they will literally accept any show in the world. So here are my pitches for their next fall lineup.
We realize that we work at jobs we are underqualified for where the only qualifications are being white and MS Word skills. Here's how we keep those jobs.
The first thing you should know about the remake is that it's not a comedy. The second thing you should know is that IT'S NOT FOR CHILDREN, YOU SHITTY PARENTS.
My birthday is on December 31st, which is New Year’s Eve. There’s always a party, and 99% of the people in the world don’t need to work the next day. Woo hoo!