Humor Columns

The Vegas Diaries

Ahh, Spring Break in Vegas. Perfect time to start documenting all your activities (sins) in a daily journal.

Bedding, thread counts, pillows, duvets.... Guys seriously, what is the meaning of all this nonsense anyway? Oh yeah, to get laid.

What do Canadians do when hockey season is officially cancelled? They turn to poker nights! (Texas hold 'em, not the sexual kind.)

Is phone sex a good idea for you and your significant other? Actually, there's a reason you have to pay for that stuff.

Got a few screws missing "up there"? Don't worry, you're not shit outta luck until you let us try "tightening you up."

A curious introspective into the soul of college, woven with a love of comedy and absurdity that will leave you in stitches.

Road rage? Late to work? Sexually frustrated? Blame it on the bad drivers of America, including women, old people, and minivan-drivers.

Dear Reader, please excuse this column from any incoherence... and from PE. It has been feeling clumsy, awkward, and unathletic.

Simonne goes where every man has gone before, exposing the truth behind every touchy, pornographic indulgence of your college life.

It's the only traditional form of dating left in college: inviting someone over to hookup halfway through a movie. Here's the rental list.

Synchronized swimming and shotput? Please, spare us. Positive drug test relay and terrorism bingo? That's more like it.

A special tribute to a pop icon of two eras: the Superfreak 80's and the Dave Chappelle 00's. We'll miss you Rick, but your quotes live on.