Today I saw thousands of people downtown walking around. I asked one of them what they were all walking for and she said "lymphoma."
First of all, why do so many people want lymphoma?
Second, is walking really the best way to get it? Or do you have to walk with thousands of people all wishing to get it at the same time for it to work?
Third, why would you be one of the people walking for lymphoma who's not wearing the t-shirt that says you're walking for lymphoma? Don't you think if lymphoma was going to pick people to infect, that it would at least start with the people who went the extra mile (the t-shirt, not walking)?
Fourth, should kids be walking for lymphoma? Don't you think they deserve to be a little bit older before they make that decision?
Fifth, did you know it's a lot easier to get lymphoma when you already have HIV? Shouldn't these people just have a giant orgy for lymphoma instead?
Sixth, and unrelated, how many times do you think a guy named Brian gets emails or letters that start off "Hey Brain"? Is that always flattering or just increasingly annoying?
Please print out these questions and discuss over beer and unprotected sex tonight and return with group answers tomorrow!
Happy Lymphoma Saturday Night!