The last time we saw them, KC, Tito and Chainsaw cruised to meet their friend Trevin The Man Whore and his party of hot chicks. If you don't know what's going on, read yesterday's story. Dumbass.
(The boys drive.)
CHAINSAW: This is the area…
TITO: I've never seen this before.
KC: This looks like…
CHAINSAW: A fucking trailer park.
KC: Well, it is Trevin The Man-Whore.
TITO: Why'd we agree to this again?
KC: Trevin The Man-Whore said there were hot girls here.
TITO: If you put a wig on an elephant, I bet Trevin The Man-Whore would bang it.
KC: Where can we find an elephant?
TITO: Oh shit. Right there. And Trevin The Man-Whore is making out with it.
KC: Dude. Is that a person, or a collection of medical waste wearing Daisy Duke sweatpants and flip flops?
TITO: Let's just turn around and go.
CHAINSAW: Nah, he just saw us.
KC: And so did, I don't know, Dennis Hopper as a 90-year-old woman?
TITO: Nothing good can come from this.
KC: Except for an adventure.
(The boys get out of the car.)
TREVIN THE MAN-WHORE: (to his, um, Monster Girl): Hold on, Honey-baby. I gots to talk to my boys. (To us now). Look, there are about four sluts in there. All ready to fuck. Even your bitch-ass KC.
KC: Uh, thanks.
TREVIN THE MAN-WHORE: I should know. Grace is awesome. She'll lick your ass and you don't even have to ask. She'll want to kiss you after, but it's worth it.
(Tito kicks KC in the leg and gives the "Let's get the fuck out of here" look.)
CHAINSAW: Let's do this!
(They walk into the trailer. It looks, well, like every trailer in every movie you've ever seen. Gross. With even grosser girls inside of it.)
BUCKTOOTH GIANT: Oh. Look at these boys.
SLOTH-ASS: Let's make ‘em men. What's you up to tonight?
TITO: Hating my friends.
KC: You know, same shit. Mario Kart. Cypress Hill. 40s. The usual. (I used to really love Cypress Hill and 40s. I still love Mario Kart.)
BUCK: Cypress Hill is for poser faggots. We listen to ICP. Check this out. Insane Clown Posse is the best music ever.
SLOTH: True that girlfren. (A high five occurs between the two beast women, and causes a tsunami of arm fat jiggles.)
KC (to Tito): Okay. They've insulted the kids from the Hill. Let's get home, get some more 40s and get this image out of our mind.
TITO: KC, Insane. Fucking. Clown. Posse. I curse you, KC. My ears are going to bleed, and then I'm going to make you bleed.
BUCK (to KC): You, Big Boy. Nice backpack. (I also used to wear a backpack everywhere.) What high school you go to?
KC: Uh. South Dakota State University.
BUCK: Oh, college boy! So you like reading books and shit?
KC: Sort of.
BUCK: Books are for losers. I never read none.
KC: Yeah. I read that somewhere.
BUCK: I read Hit Parader whenever ICP is in the magazine. Other than that, maybe a Cosmo-girl when I'm in the bathroom. Want to dance?
TITO: He'd love to.
KC: No I…
BUCK: This is what we call, "The Juggalo."
(Bucktoothed Giant seizures.)
TITO: Looks like you're kind of dancing.
KC: I'm just going to close my eyes, gyrate a little, but not too much. I just don't want to get crushed.
CHAINSAW: I think I left, um, my *cough* letsgetduhfuckoutover gum in the car. I'll be right back.
SLOTH: Ugh, that Boone's Wine is running straight through me. I've got to piss. Sloth, you need to piss?
BUCK: Are you on your period?
SLOTH: Either that, or pregnant again.
BUCK: One more juggalo at the kid's table!
(Sloth and Buck leave.)
TITO: The smart thing to do is leave.
KC: And burn the trailer down.
TITO: I love you, but I will abandon you to these dinosaurs in Jurassic Trailer Park. Let's go.
KC: Oh gross. Oh fucking hideously fucking gross.
TITO: I know. Let's roll.
KC: No. Look, next to the VCR.
TITO: What? Why? What? Why would you point that out? I'm your roommate. Not your fucking worst enemy.
KC: We should steal it.
TITO: That's by far the worst idea you've ever had.
KC: We're two loser college boys. We can find something to do with it.
TITO: They did insult Cypress Hill.
KC: And reading.
TITO: Fine. Take it.
KC: No. Paper, Rock, Scissors.
TITO: But…
KC: Paper! Rock! Scissors!
TITO: Paper!
KC: Rock!
TITO: But… You always throw scissors.
KC: Except when I really really really don't want to lose. And that is something I really really really don't want to touch.
TITO: I'm going to use this old Burger King napkin to grab it. Open up your backpack.
KC: What?!?! Not my backpack!
TITO: Where else are we going to carry it?
KC: Your mouth?
(Tito grabs the item, opens KC's backpack and shoves him out the broken screen door. They run into Chainsaw's car.)
TITO: Drive as fast as you can!
KC: Even faster than that!
CHAINSAW: What did you guys do?
KC: We'll tell you when we're far enough away not to get Godzilla stomped.