1. Long And Also Fondly
I honestly didn’t know so many people would be on board with the original version of this list—“8 Ways To Kiss Your Parents On The Lips”—much less demand I write a follow-up. This was a pleasant surprise for both me and my parents, whom I kiss on the lips often.
2. Lick Their Lips Side To Side
Because of the flood of emails I received, I no longer feel ashamed to kiss my parents on the lips. Now I know there are others out there who kiss their mothers and fathers on their beautiful and wise mouths.
3. Fifty Little Pecks Over Thirty Long Minutes
This is incredibly cathartic for me. Thank you all so much for this.
4. Only Tongue
When I was younger, the other children teased me often for my kissing. They would grab me by my lips and say, “these are parent-kisser lips” and then rub them in mud. As well all know, mud does not make for good kissing lips.
5. Next To Me, While I Am Also Kissing My Parents On The Lips
Now that I know there are more of us, maybe we can form a community. We kiss our parents on the lips together, and they will gently kiss us back, for our lips are weaker than their lips. Time and practice will make our parent-kissing lips strong.
6. Creating A Vacuum Tight Seal Around Their Mouth
What sort of God would make parents with lips if their children couldn’t kiss them with the lips they also have? I would not praise a God who thoughtlessly gives lips out to any creature, even ones who he expects not to kiss.
7. Often And Also Aggressively
Let us kiss our wonderful parents without judgement or resentment. That is all I have wanted to ask for, but haven’t felt the courage to demand until now. I suppose there truly is power in numbers.
8. Freestyle It! Just Make It Your Own!
But don’t let me dictate how you kiss those sweet, nurturing parents of yours. I’ve lived my life trusting my instincts and believing what I believe. Every parent is different and they will all want to be kissed a different way. Make your own path in this long, kiss-filled life.