Some people have the confidence to deal with social exclusion gracefully, while others find it defeating. Take this quiz to see what your coping mechanisms say about who will hold your hand on your deathbed!
1. Rachel tweets her excitement at “finally” getting to see “all the people” she loves this weekend because she has so many picnics to attend. You’ve been trying to pin her down for a quick coffee date for months, but she’s always said she’s busy. You:
A. …chuckle knowingly. So many friends, so little time!
B. …can’t remember who Rachel is.
C. …reply, “Sounds like you’re getting drunk with some amazing people on a day you’re supposed to be commemorating dead heroes!”
2. You thought your invitation to work pal Megan’s bridal shower was coming—guess it wasn’t because the only two other women you work with just Insta'd photos from said festivities. You…
A. …comment in total sincerity, “Aaahhh adorable! So random but I had two other friends’ showers that day!! Xoxoxoxox beauties!!!!!
B. …are relieved you were never obligated to attend what appears to be the first-world equivalent of waterboarding.
C. …unfollow those Certified Mean Girls and ghost them at work, making exceptions only to inform them their salad choices bore you.
3. Emma invites you to her birthday outing at a baseball game, along with many people you don’t know. You end up in a seat next to her. Upon realizing this, she quickly jumps up a row to sit with her camp friends. You…
A. …immediately befriend the charming couple on your other side, who have the same Myers-Briggs personality types as you and your partner, so all four of you sync iCals and agree to check out Sleep No More next weekend. (You are all skeptical but curious!)
B. …have way sicker things to do than watch baseball, like forage for wild mushrooms!
C. …stoically excuse yourself to the bathroom where you sob for three innings. This is your 7th-grade viewing of Miss Congeniality all over again.
4. You’re having brunch with your college roommate who thinks she’s about to get engaged. She tells you that you’re on her short list for bridesmaids. A year later at the wedding, you are not a bridesmaid. You…
A. …feel genuinely #blessed to sit at Table 3 with the most amazing group of old classmates you simply haven’t had the social bandwidth to keep up with!
B. …oversleep till the ceremony is over and honestly feel zero guilt.
C. …hire an escort to be the plus-one she never specified you could bring. You do not get her a present.
5. During therapy, you unearth a repressed memory from high school of Katie telling you her mom was kicking you out of their beach house for them to have “a family weekend,” which you find out was a lie so Katie could spend the weekend alone with her boyfriend Duggan and lose her virginity. You…
A. …feel bad for Katie, remembering Duggan later broke up with her for being too clingy, but smile at your fond recollection of the Mediterranean cruise you had that summer with your own beautiful family and generous sexual partner.
B. …thank Dr. Aurora for the nap.
C. …stumble home, get into bed, and watch Now and Then while downing vodka stevias. You’re fine, P.S. I Love You is on next.
Who Will Be With You at Your Death Bed?
Mostly As: Everyone loves you dearly and they’re all crammed into your hospital room to kiss you goodbye. Thanks for inviting all of—oh wait, you didn't invite them. You're alone.
Mostly Bs: You’ll die alone and that suits you. (But on the off chance it doesn’t, are you at all interested in being my friend?)
Mostly Cs: You will live a long, quiet life with your oldest friend, Veronica Mars. Your last words will be some grumbling about Kristen Bell not being all that personable when you are fully aware she is a tremendous talent and a beautiful spirit; you, on the other hand, are insecure about the invariably charmed lives petite blonde women live.