- What would you put down as ‘experience' on your resume when you're applying to be a porn actor? Would you put down all of your previous jobs, or would you go into detail about all the times you've had sex?
… (I did the latter.)
- Don't trust a doctor who got his doctorate degree from one of those internet colleges.
- Every time I'm about to enter a room, I look in it to make sure my close friends and family aren't inside about to spring an intervention on me. This is normal, right?
- I wonder if anyone has ever put condoms on layaway at a store.
- Or if anyone has ever shot up a school with a squirt gun.
- Or if anyone has ever tried to use a coupon to save on a prostitute.
- I just realized it's really creepy when you talk to babies or pets in a completely normal voice, but still saying the normal things you would to a dog or baby. “Who's a good doggie? You are. You's a good doggie,” is totally different when not said in the normal high-pitched tone people take with these creatures, but with a monotone voice and a straight face.
- Also, it would be weird to mix the two up, talk to a baby like it is a dog, or vice versa.
- The person who invented Viagra gets guys hard for a living. That's really homosexual if you think about it.
Labels: too much of my day is spent thinking of ways to creep out babies
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