Over the course of my time here at WVU, I've had some funny experiences with my professors.
Here are a few I remember well.
TA: Why do I keep hearing about the “Oedipus complex” today? Isn't that strange? I've heard it at least ten times today.
Me: I guess you've heard a lot about it because you have it…
TA: Actually, come to think of it…I do. I have Oedipus complex by proxy, though… I want to fuck YOUR mother.
Class: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Me: ….powned.
-My mother is happily married, thank you very much.
—–
Hot Prof: So Nick, what did you do for your boyfriend for Valentine's Day?
Me: Hah-hah, gay joke at my expense, you win.
Hot Prof: But really, what did you do for your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have a girlfriend.
Hot Prof: Oh really? I find that hard to believe
Class: *snicker*
Me: I suppose we could change that after class, what are you doin?
Hot Prof: I'm married.
Me: You're married? I find that hard to believe.
Hot Prof: Yep, straight people can get married.
-I'd still do her.
—–
Indian Prof: ONE TURD PLUS TWO TURD IS THREE TURD
Random redneck: haha, what's that? One turd plus two turds is three turds?!
Indian Prof: ONE TURD PLUS TWO–oh. Dat iz not wat I meant.
-Calc I, after our second test, Redneck decided to argue his test score. He couldn't do basic math.
—–
Random kid #1: penis.
Random kid #2: Penis…
#1: PEnis
#2: PENis
#1: PENIs
#2: PENIS!
Prof: While those two discuss their plans for this evening…would anybody like to tell me why Frost uses the image of a penis in this poem? I mean…wall. Wall. Not a penis. A wall.
Class: hahahaha
Prof: Ah, damn….okay….you know what? Get out a piece of paper, we're having a quiz. (jokingly)
#2: On penises?
Prof: No. On weed. I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt.
-Two stoners, an old High School game, and a Freudian penis.
—–
Prof: So who in here listens to NAZ?
Class: What?
Prof: Naz…you know, the hip hop artist…
Class: You mean Nas?
Prof: I'm 54-years-old…. just answer the damned question.
-African American Lit Fun
—–
Me: I like your hat!
Prof: You like your GPA?
Me: Yeah…
Prof: Then don't insult my hat again.
-It was a Russian rat fur hat, for Christ sake.
—–
Me: I think, by saying that she is coming, Whitman is actually relating her to Christ.
Prof: I don't think he's talking about Jesus…
– First and last time perversion has slipped by me. Fuck you, Walt Whitman