Ok, I'm writing about my girlfriend a little. She hasn't been upset with any piece I've done so far (since the first time, anyway). So I think I know where the line is.
Now, my girl is awesome. She really and truly cares about me and she wants to help me in my life without really changing me. I think that's great.
You know what else I think is great? Baseball. More specifically: St. Louis Cardinals baseball.
You know what else I think is great? TIVO.
You know what else I think is great? The fact that I'm going someplace with this. And that I promise.
Anyway, Lila (my girlfriend's name for all practical PIC purposes) was running late yesterday. She had a whole bunch of errands to run before she could get to my house and she called me and said that she missed me and asked if I would be willing to ride along with her on her errands.
Now, I paid $160 for the privilege of being able to watch any Cardinals game I so chose. And I so chose (at that time) to be sitting on my ass and watching the game. Adam Wainwright (pitcher) was straight up dealing (as opposed to that crooked down dealing we all know and hate) and the Birds looked good. I didn't want to leave.
“I miss you,” she said.
“Umm,” I said. “Okay.”
So I paused the television with the hopes that when we returned from our hour of her errand running that I would get to see the game when I returned.
And when I returned, the game was on.
Now, had the game been over, had I missed a winner or worse yet an awesome winner (way better than a regular winner and usually including a homerun by a utility outfielder and a starting pitcher), I might have been mad.
Mad at myself for allowing my emotional attachment to my girl to supersede my love for the Cards; mad at her for taking so long; mad at life in general for all its evil conspiracies meant to keep me down, et al, etc and then some.
But the game was paused.
And it stayed paused.
And when I arrived home, I was happy. I was happy I spent all that time with my girl; happy I had a girl who cared about me, and just generally thrilled that I didn't have to choose between her and baseball.
So, instead of a foul mood without TIVO, I had a good mood with it.
And I guess if I were a TIVO marketer, I would advertise it with the following slogan: TIVO, saving relationships since 1998.
So I guess what I'm saying is, if you love sports and you love your woman (who hates sports), get yourself a TIVO and you'll seriously reduce your foul moods.
I really am here to help.