I understand that no one's life turned out the way they wanted it to (I always wanted to play catcher for the St. Louis Cardinals after all) but there is no greater reminder of my life status than the annual fiasco I call “being stuck in the fucking office while the NCAA Basketball Tournament kicks off.”
Some of my friends, like my buddy Brick and Fearless Editor Court Sullivan, can make their own schedules. Which means that they can wake up whenever they want and watch basketball whenever they want. Neither one of these yahoos will actually watch the tournament because they're not big basketball fans. Which begs the question: why the fuck did they bother to attain all that personal freedom if they're just gonna waste it on stupid shit like productivity and sobriety?
(Side note: this is, word for word, a message that Brick left on my voicemail last week: “Hey Chuckles, I'm just calling to tell you?you remember how you were busting my balls because I didn't change my clock in my car and it was off by an hour??well, it's right now, buddy. So take that!” These are the kinds of people that end up in my life.)
My buddy from Boise (and yes, I only have one) is currently on vacation (he doesn't work or anything, but living in Boise is apparently work in and of itself) and on my couch. He'll be spending today drinking my beer, eating my food and stinking up my apartment while also not watching basketball (he doesn't care either).
These are three people (Court, Aaron and Brick) who I would gladly exchange lives with (as long as I got to keep my appearance?sorry guys) just so I would have the freedom to watch basketball while sucking down rum on a beautiful afternoon. And none of them are taking advantage of their awesome freedom levels to kick back and enjoy the finest entertainment that college basketball has to offer (and don't forget about Gus Johnson freaking out, which is part of the reason I watch the madness).
People are stupid.
Anyway, I've said it before and I'll say it again: “God bless the working stiff because work is for chumps.”
And if you need me, feel free to set an appointment.
Fuck.