Throughout the NFL playoffs, at least once a week, PIC's Xavier Holland (some call him X) and I will be exchanging emails and discussing the previous and upcoming week's games. These are real actual emails from real actual people who live real actual lives and keep real actual jobs. We hope you really actually enjoy the exchange.
From: Nathan DeGraaf
To: Xavier Holland
Thu 1/3/2008 11:52 AM
Can you smell that? The Playoffs are coming. They'll be here any minute. Remember when you were a kid anticipating Santa's arrival and praying for some useless bauble that you'd undeniably end up hurting a sibling with before the damn thing broke? That's how I feel about the playoffs. I am giddy with anticipation.
How about you, X? What are you giddy with?
Anyway X, in case you don't know how this works, let me break it down for you. Basically, I email you my picks for the playoffs with comments. Throughout each email, I'll ask you questions. You don't have to answer them all, but if you don't answer at least a few of them then we look like shit. So I'll toss you a few easy ones.
What's your favorite color?
(See? Like that.)
Anyway, onto my picks for the 2008 Playoffs.
SEAHAWKS over Redskins
This Washington story is awesome. I love how they overcame adversity against wicked odds. They had the death of Sean Taylor (registered badass) and an old coach who cost them a game by calling two timeouts in a row, forcing a delay of game penalty. And now they're trying to bring the heat in Seattle. The ‘Skins are a hot team but they're just not that good. Also, detail oriented coaching wins games in the playoffs and Joe Gibbs can't even detail his car at this point. Also, ESPN's hyping up the ‘Skins, and that's pretty much the kiss of death for any playoff underdog.
Jaguars over STEELERS
The Jags have that thing, that swagger thing. They seem confident, arrogant and a little pissed off. If I had to pick one NFL playoff team to fight the terrorists, I would ask Jack Bauer to lead the Jaguars into battle.
BUCCANEERS over Giants
On Sunday, the Hooters near Raymond James Stadium will be open and serving beer at 5:30 AM in honor of the Bucs 1PM start. And some people still ask me why I live here. In all honesty though, I think the Bucs will win this because Eli Manning will have a bad day. There's always a 50/50 on a Manning crap day and I like those odds.
CHARGERS over Titans
That's right. I picked Norv Turner to win a playoff game. Rest assured, this will be the last time.
Okay, question time. First, thanks for being one of the few PICers who actually has more than a passing interest in sports. (Side note: if you ever want a laugh, try talking baseball with Court. It's like talking to a nine year old about global politics.) Let's get to the questions.
Now that the regular season is over, it's time to take stock in the important things. My two favorite sports moments from this year were the Micheal Spurlock kickoff return for a touchdown (first ever in Bucs' history) and Luke McCown leading the Bucs to an actual victory, which was unexpected to say the least. What were your two favorite moments from this NFL season?
This year was the year of the ball washing. I don't know if you watched much of Favre, Brady and Manning, but my God were those boys getting their balls licked feverously by the sports media. Anyway, I think Favre got the most happy endings from the folks in the booths. Who do you think got the biggest ball washing? Oh, and while we're here, who do you think got screwed over by the media the most? I would say Vick, but I'm pretty sure that makes me racist. Your thoughts?
And finally, this is the part where we predict who will be in the Super Bowl. I'm thinking it'll be Bucs versus Colts. They'll call it the Dungy Bowl and it will feature more shots of the coaches than any other game in NFL history.
From: Xavier Holland
To: Nathan DeGraaf
Thu 1/3/2008 1:14 PM
I never really understood the favorite color question. Doesn't it really depend on what you're talking about? Like, black is good for clothes, but it's not what I want to see in a sunset, or anything. I pretty much answer that question randomly as the situation dictates; I find that “menstrual-blood red” genuinely nips that line of questioning in the bud pretty neatly.
SEAHAWKS over Redskins
I don't even know what detail-oriented coaching entails, but I do know that my grandmother could manage a game better than Gibbs. And she's been cremated for over a decade now. Clinton Portis has been playing well, so I think it might be close, but I don't really see the Redskins pulling this one out. I've been under-whelmed by them all season.
STEELERS over Jaguars
If I had to pick one team to fight the terrorists, I would send them John Madden teaming up with Dennis Miller to broadcast endless loops of Dolphins games. They would surrender instantly.
Game wise, I just am leery of taking warm-weather, unproven young QBs on the road against good defenses.
Giants over BUCCANEERS
I hate the Giants. I'm not sure why I do, but ever since I've been cognizant of football, they've just irked the shit out of me. That being said, I think they're the better team. I'll probably be at my local Hooters too where they're all like, “Please stop staring at my breasts. This is a Dunkin' Donuts.”
CHARGERS over Titans
I also hate the Titans, and the Chargers have easily been a top-4 second half team. On an entirely unrelated note, Cleveland went 7-1 at home this year.
My two favorite moments from this NFL season have to be Devin Hester breaking his own return record and fucking anything from Randy Moss. Hester because not only is he fast and shifty, but he also fumbles a lot. That means lots of plays involving him are exciting. I like being excited. It's also impressive that he was able to record 6 touchdowns, considering nobody in their right mind wanted to kick to him.
Oh, Randy, Randy. He was always that guy I imagined I was when playing pickup football?as a lanky kind of receiver, it just made sense. Those 98 Vikings were a sight. I was downright sad when he got traded to Oakland and stopped trying, but I never lost the belief that he was the best receiver in the league, when motivated.
Thanks for proving me right, Randy.
I don't think anybody got a bigger ball-washing than Favre. Peyton was in every fucking commercial, but in football terms, he was relatively overlooked. Tom Brady, through no real fault of his own, is implicated in evil, evil deeds. I've never heard so many people wish somebody got hit by lightning before. Favre, though, has that everyman shouldering an overachieving team thing going on.
Vick got screwed by the media, but I guess he kinda warranted it. Still though, them dissecting his speech points as if he had drawn little smiley faces all over it was kind of fucked up; just because he wanted to remember everything doesn't make it any less heartfelt. Besides, the guy smokes a ton. How good do people expect his memory to be?
If the Super Bowl is Colts vs. Bucs, I quit. I don't know what I'll quit, but I'll find something. As ho-hum as this sounds, I've seen nothing to indicate it won't be NE-Dallas. Part of me wants to pick something less obvious so I have a chance to look brilliant, but it is what it is.
Fuck it, I'll be bold. Atlanta over St. Jose in 2.
From: Nathan Degraaf
To: Xavier Holland
Thursday, January 03, 2008 1:30 PM
St. Jose vs. Atlanta?
No way you get off that light. If you don't offer a correction, I think we have to go with NE/Dallas as your pick. And that will never happen because everyone thinks it will. Kind of like flying cars.
From: Xavier Holland
To: Nathan DeGraaf
Thursday, January 03, 2008 1:30 PM
Eh, I'll make it a little more exciting and go with Indy/Dallas. I really don't see Green Bay getting all the way, and the rest of the NFC is just kind of eh. Indy could definitely knock off NE though, and it's a *slightly* more interesting prediction.
Got your own playoff predictions? Great, man. No one cares though. Really. I mean, you can leave them in the comment box if you want but, rest assured, no one gives a shit.
Labels: NFL_picks