Trash My Bracket (Day 1)

As an appendix to my March Madness article, I’ve decided to post my daily picks on here for all to see. And away we go…

Washington

10 Seton Hall over 7 Wichita St.

15 Winthrop over 2 Tennessee

4 Illinois over 13 Air Force

5 Washington over 12 Utah St.

How the fuck is Tennessee a 2 seed? Seriously, how did this happen? I demand a face-to-face explanation from someone on the committee, or at the very least a letter on official NCAA stationary with Myles Brand’s photocopied signature.

Washington and Illinois are both better teams than Tennessee, yet they’ll have to get through UConn to have a crack at the Final Four. Meanwhile, the other half of this bracket is the weakest 8-team draw in the tournament. I’m taking Winthrop in a shocker. Odds are, they’ll keep it close until the end before losing by a couple points, because that’s what happens to every super longshot pick I make.

Interesting side note: NCAA President Myles Brand attended RPI, my alma mater, and was a brother in the fraternity next door to mine.

Minneapolis

6 Oklahoma over 11 Wisconsin-Milwaukee

4 Boston College over 13 Pacific

3 Florida over 14 South Alabama

5 Nevada over 12 Montana

Nothing too exciting here. If everything goes according to plan, it would set up two very interesting matchups for the second round.

Interesting side note: I played against former BC Eagle Jermaine Watson in an offseason tournament back in high school. Yes, he dunked on me. Next question.

Oakland

7 Marquette over 10 Alabama

2 UCLA over 15 Belmont

3 Gonzaga over 14 Xavier

6 Indiana over 11 San Diego St.

Again, no upset picks here, although I wouldn’t be surprised if Alabama or San Diego State walked away victorious.

Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison is garnering a lot of hype this year as a Naismith Award candidate. There are very few players his size – he’s listed at 6’8” – that can score in the same variety of ways. But can we please stop comparing him to Larry Bird?

Is Morrison a great player? Yes. However, Bird single-handedly lifted Indiana State out of obscurity and into the NCAA championship game, led the Boston Celtics to three NBA championships, and is one of the 50 greatest players of all-time. So far, all Morrison has done is earn the title of “Most Awkwardly Effective Player I’ve Ever Seen.”

Does Morrison have a shitty mustache? Yes. But, when Bird had a shitty mustache, it was the 80s, so he had the excuse that it was actually fashionable. Perhaps Morrison is testing the theory that you can score mad poon no matter how bad you look, as long as you’re famous.

Interesting side note: This Thursday is Gonzaga point guard Derek Raivio's 12th birthday. Happy Birthday, Derek.

Atlanta

4 LSU over 13 Iona

8 George Washington over 9 UNC-Wilmington

1 Duke over 16 Southern

12 Texas A&M over 5 Syracuse

Syracuse’s run through the Big East tournament was impressive, and I think their seed is greatly inflated as a result. A week ago they were on the bubble and now they’re a 5 seed? That doesn’t seem right. A 12 beats a 5 every year, so I’m taking Texas A&M.

My taking George Washington in the 8-9 game is contingent on Pops Mensah-Bonsu’s being available to play. If he’s healthy and has a big tournament, I see cereal endorsements in his future.

For the record, I have Duke winning it all. No team gets it done year in and year out with such consistency and such heavy reliance on white boys as the Blue Devils.

Interesting side note: Duke center Shelden Williams isn’t ugly. He isn’t fugly. He’s frugly (fuckin’ ridiculously ugly). This guy could take a baseball bat to the face and come out looking better. For God’s sake, Shelden, women and children could be watching.

In future rounds, I’ll be posting both the actual matchup, as well the matchup I predicted. So follow along and watch my bracket turn to garbage.