Exercising Restraint

My long-term boyfriend has written a very formal sounding letter that is almost like a legal contract that he keeps insisting that I sign. This document says amongst other things that “I agree to be committed to him forever.” We are not engaged and I find this document highly offensive. I feel that if he was just feeling insecure, he would be more likely to write a informal, loving type letter, not an almost legal sounding “contract.” My dad has advised me not to sign as he says it could be used against me if the relationship ever went sour.

In addition, I feel that my boyfriend doesn't really love me. He is distant, won't kiss me, treats me like a buddy if we ever go out, and expects me to pay for everything (he refuses to get a job). In the past, he has also been critical, and possessive. My boyfriend won't let up, and keeps insisting that I sign. He has now threatened to not come over and see me (we live apart) until I agree to sign. Am I overreacting by refusing to sign this? Thanks.

I predict that three years from now, his neighbor will be quoted in your local newspaper: “He seemed like such a nice boy. He really didn’t seem like the dismembering type.” Even though I understand that possessive, emotionally-distant, unemployed men are hard to resist, here’s a little legal advice: The only thing you should sign is a restraining order.

Why are you so damn funny? Where does your constant wit come from? HOW CAN I BE LIKE THAT!?

Why are you such an ugly fat bitch?

See above question.

If you castrate a pig, does it become disgruntled?

I keep trying to stalk this guy, but he keeps changing his e-mail, and when I finally figure out his new schedule at school again, he changes it. What should I do?

Remember: The only difference between a successful stalker and an unsuccessful stalker is commitment. (A quality telephoto lens doesn't hurt either.)