Understanding Over-Protection

I had sex with this girl last week and she made me stop because I put on a condom. Why do you think this is?

Can you really blame her? With that one thoughtless gesture, you crushed her girlhood dreams of beginning a lucrative career as a welfare mom.

People like you make me sick.

I am currently a student at a state school in New York. My school has been known to be full of STDs and promiscuous women. My problem is that I have always looked down on guys that are players and I don't want to be one. I could have all the booty I want, but all I really want is a girlfriend. The problem with this is girls at this college don't want boyfriends, they just want to sleep around. What do I do?

Oh, it's very simple. Just sit quietly in your room until you hear my female readers beating down your door.

You are one sweet thing. Oops, that's not a question…Ok, well how do you feel about dating guys twice your age?

Probably the same way you feel about dating women twice YOUR age. However, I'm willing to give “us” a shot, as long as I don't have to touch you. Or see you, or talk to you. And you have to sign over your social security check every month. Please forward them promptly. I have bills to pay, you know.