Theoretical Physicist Michio Kaku Asked Me to Stop Sending Him These Solutions to the Grandfather Paradox by Lillie Franks|August 3, 2022
Sure, My Right to Marry Might Be Overturned, but Am I Bringing Strange Energy to This Dinner Party? by Alysa Stryker|July 31, 2022
What Your Favorite Taylor Swift Album Says About Where You Were at the Time of Lady Ashby’s Murder by Lillie Franks|July 30, 2022
My Job Is Amazing Even Though My Boss Is a Bloodthirsty Hammerhead Shark by Rachel Reyes|July 29, 2022
What I Thought My First Year of Teaching High School Would Be Like vs. What It Was Actually Like by Matt Stofsky|July 27, 2022
No, I Didn’t Name My Child Michael Jordackson So He’d Aspire for Greatness as an NBA Player or World-Renowned Musician by Robert Criss|July 27, 2022
Why I, D-List Hollywood Actor, Should Be the Keynote Speaker for Your Tech Conference by Victoria Tran|July 25, 2022
Your Uncle, the World’s Most Notorious Cat Burglar, Announces His Retirement by Michael Lieberman|July 20, 2022
Terms and Conditions Agreement Between a Local and a Fucking Summer Person by Tilden Lincoln|July 19, 2022
Gas, Grass, or a Poignant Haiku That Makes Me Cry, Nobody Rides for Free by Sam Burnett|July 17, 2022
Unbiased Yelp Review That Has Nothing to Do With the Fact the Restaurant Wouldn’t Accommodate My Sloth by Caitlin Bitzegaio|July 12, 2022
If You’re Here to Party, Put Your Hands Up for a Quick Head Count for the Fire Marshal by Erika Lindquist|July 11, 2022
Please Familiarize Yourself with Mr. Satan’s Views Before Calling Yourself a “Devil’s Advocate” by Fleurette Modica|July 7, 2022
We’re Offering 10 Percent Off If This Golden Corral Turns into a Food Fight Warzone by Bryan Brunati|July 5, 2022
MasterClass: Acting with the Guy Who Played “Shlubby Dad” in a Domino’s Commercial by Gracie Kairis|July 4, 2022
The Parking Garage Is Compromised, So How About We Trade Federal Secrets at La Romantica? by Nathan Cowley|June 25, 2022
So I Caught You Trying to Sneak an Ice Sculpture Through Security. Again. by Aarushi Gupta|June 23, 2022
The Yard Work Will Have to Wait Until I Recover from This Nasty Case of Havana Syndrome by Robert Criss|June 21, 2022
Are You in a Kafka Story or on the Phone with a Customer Service Representative? by Amber Burke|June 20, 2022
Announcing the Death of Larry Smith, Beloved Dentist, Community Member, Lawn Mower Thief by Rachel Rose Keller|June 18, 2022
Why You Should Only Cut to Me Laughing During This Comedy Special Taping by Kristi Iovino|June 17, 2022
How to Combat Your Internalized Misogyny in the Form of a Horrible Little Gremlin by Audrey Clark|June 11, 2022
Episode Titles and Descriptions for a New and Overlong True-Crime Series by Michael Leonetti|June 7, 2022
Congratulations on Your Invitation to Duel to the Death for Our Beautiful Home by Brandy Gonzalez|June 6, 2022
Oh, No, I Just Remembered I Left the Front Door Unlocked and the House on Fire by Eddie Small|June 5, 2022
The Most Important Thing About This World Event Is That It’s Ultimately About Me by Steven Markow|June 3, 2022
I Fully Intend to Boycott Amazon Just as Soon as I Buy This Thing for My Newborn by Molly Cahen|May 31, 2022
An Open Letter to the Hermit Crab Who Made My Apartment His Shell While I Was Away by Keenan Novi|May 28, 2022
Child Labor Is Back, Baby! (Seriously, Are You a Baby? Because We’re Hiring) by Sarah Lehman|May 27, 2022
Your Ego’s Writing Checks Your Body Can’t Cash! That’s Why You’re the Perfect Candidate for Our Top Gun Overdraft Protection Program by Doug Kolic|May 24, 2022
An Open Letter to People Who Hold Up Their Middle Finger in Instagram Photos by Robert Criss|May 23, 2022
I Am Stepping Up to Run Garden Club Despite My Complete Lack of Gardening Knowledge by Sarah Totton|May 16, 2022
Sir, I Am Not Pleasuring Myself to the Pin-up Girls Painted on the Side of the Warplanes, Sir by Robert Criss|May 16, 2022
I’m Shuttering My Professional Kidnap for Ransom Operation Due to Rising Inflation by Victor Yocco|May 12, 2022
Parallel Universes Where a Football Coach Wins the Game and the Team Dumps Gatorade on Him by Robert Criss|May 11, 2022
