Dear Landlord: I Cannot Be Held Responsible for the Coyote-Shaped Hole in the Wall by Ross Murray|May 6, 2022
Which Multi-Generational Dynasty with a Legacy of Power and Corruption Is Being Described: the Skywalkers or Great Britain’s Royal Windsors? by Darlene Crane|May 4, 2022
My Last Thoughts as My Chair Tipped Over Backwards That One Time in 3rd Grade by William Vaillancourt|May 3, 2022
It’s Okay CNN, My Streaming Service, Natework, Couldn’t Find an Audience Either! by Adam Dietz|May 3, 2022
As Your Fortune Teller, I Will Tell You, a Dewy Young Thing, Who You’ll Be In Forty or Fifty Years by Margo Bartlett|April 29, 2022
Hey Bellyacher, Your Doctor Wants Us to Experiment on You in This New Clinical Trial! by Sherry Vondy Beaver|April 28, 2022
This Church Service Would Be Way Better If the Youth Band Drummer Got into It More by Andy Spain|April 27, 2022
Introducing the Blowharder: the Loudest, Biggest, Baddest, Most Polluting Leaf Blower Ever Made! by John Sandbach|April 26, 2022
Words and Phrases Banned from the U.S. Mint Staff Email Where Employees Print $38 Million a Day for $40,000 a Year by Robert Criss|April 25, 2022
I Know Times Are Tough, So I’m Generously Reducing the Rent for the Crawlspace Under My House by Holly Theisen-Jones|April 25, 2022
Advice for Dealing with the Stranger (Nicolas Cage?) Living in Your Walls by Doug Kolic|April 22, 2022
Opening Monologues from Rod Serling’s Acclaimed Sci-Fi Series, “Midwestern Spring” by Joe Wellman|April 21, 2022
‘Tis True Friar Lawrence Be Mired in the Deaths of Many a Verona Youth, Yet, Verily, I Am Fond of His Herbal Teas by Ross Murray|April 18, 2022
How About Leaving Some Milk and Cookies Out for Me, the Easter Bunny? by Gracie Kairis|April 17, 2022
12 Moments You Thought You Could Forget, but Your Phone’s Photo “Memories” Function Won’t Let You by Jill Bennett|April 13, 2022
Translations of the Inspirational Quotes Posted on Facebook by Denise, a Snowplow Parent of Two Teenagers by Keri Kelly|April 12, 2022
Fellow Mobsters, I Am Changing My Email Address—but Not Because I Am Going into Witness Protection by Lincoln Sorscher|April 11, 2022
An Updated Tax Write-Off Worksheet, by the Nosiest Employee at the IRS by Kelsey Harper|April 5, 2022
Stick and Stones May Break My Bones, but There Are a Bunch of Words That Will Hurt Me by Nathan Pashley|April 3, 2022
Are You Ordering a Drink at a Crowded Bar or Picking Up Your Meds from the Local Pharmacy? by Emily Knapp|March 29, 2022
I Am the Improbable Fireball in Every Hollywood Action Movie, and I Demand a Lifetime Achievement Award by S.A. Swanson|March 29, 2022
I Am the Wooden Board at That Gourmet Burger Restaurant, Here to Remind You That You Only Make $10 an Hour by Erin McLaughlin|March 28, 2022
America, Please Elect Me as Our Country’s First Beta-Male President in 2024 by Lincoln Sorscher|March 26, 2022
I’m Arctic Shipwreck Survivor Stranded with an Annoying Show-off Asshole by Tristan Wheeler|March 25, 2022
The Unvarnished Truth About Why Your Dog Didn’t Get Into Doggy Daycare by Christine Champagne|March 24, 2022
As Your Virtual Doctor, I Can’t Give You the Results of Your Brain Surgery Until You Smash That “Like” Button by Doug Kolic|March 23, 2022
Secret Menu from the Long John Silver’s Next to an Apartment That Sells Adderall by Robert Criss|March 18, 2022
As the Escaped Felon Hiding in Your Attic, I’m Deeply Concerned About Your Marriage by Sam Burnett|March 17, 2022
Comments from the Audiologist That Show You’re Massively Failing Your Hearing Exam by Kurt Zemaitaitis|March 17, 2022
Questions I Had While Attending My Second Basketball Game, After My First Basketball Game Was the One That Air Bud Played In by Kevin Lutz|March 15, 2022
Your School District’s Superintendent Introduces His Top Ten New Substitute Teachers by Dae Selcer|March 14, 2022
A Hard-Boiled Detective Gets to the Bottom of Those Creepy Delivery Confirmation Photos by Talia Argondezzi and Nick Morgan|March 13, 2022
I, The Scarecrow from Oz, Would like to Return My Brain in Exchange for Canceling My Student Loan Debt by Risa Harms|March 12, 2022
You Gotta Dance like Nobody’s Watching from the Narrow Slits of the Closet Door by Troy Doetch|March 11, 2022
I Am Surprise Releasing My Album, Technically, Because Nobody Knows Who I Am by Simon Henriques|March 10, 2022
Everything Is Fucked Up Right Now, but I Know What the World Needs: a Think Piece About Wordle by Sam Franzini|March 9, 2022
Mind Your Dots: A Public Service Announcement on the Responsible Use of Ellipses by Elizabeth Barton|March 6, 2022
An Open Letter to Adam McKay About My Own Script, a Heavy-Handed Allegory for the Iran-Contra Affair by Freddie Shanel|March 5, 2022
