I Am the All-Knowing Supercomputer Programmed by White Guys to Be Super Inclusive by Corey Johnsen|June 2, 2021
Passages from My Nine-Year-Old’s Journal That Prove He’s Possessed by Walt Whitman’s Ghost by Summer Koester|May 31, 2021
A One-Sided Conversation at a Grill That You Didn’t Start and Can’t Get Out Of by Jim Tatalias|May 30, 2021
If You Want to Date My Daughter You’re Going to Have to Help Me Get My Wife to Let Me Back into the House First by Matt Payton|May 28, 2021
Visions I Had After Succumbing to the Madness That Befalls All Men Who Dare Drink the Milk of the Eldest Keebler Elf by Ryan Ciecwisz|May 28, 2021
Mistakes Were Made: One Intern’s Heartfelt Apology, Written Entirely in the Passive Voice by Noah Cohen-Greenberg, Sam Mermin and Lucy Walker|May 27, 2021
Lesser Known But No Less Eponymous Ways Charles Ponzi Invented to Defraud People by Gary Almeter|May 26, 2021
Other Things That Were Considered Evidence of Witchcraft in 17th Century Salem by Arie Kaplan|May 26, 2021
Signs That Your Evangelical Christian Coworker Who Is Obsessed with Israel Wants to Discuss the Current Situation in the Middle East with You, a Jewish Person, But Is Unsure How to Bring It Up by Bill Hylen|May 25, 2021
I Am the Sticky Brown Kitchen Cabinets and All the Other Bad Choices Landlords Make with Their Rental Properties by Audrey Dundee Hannah|May 24, 2021
Uncle Sam Wants YOU to Auction Off a Meme to Pay for Your Gallbladder Removal by Leah Roemer|May 23, 2021
The Decline in U.S. Birth Rate Isn’t Due to the Pandemic, It’s Due to Spider Plants by Natalie Vinh|May 22, 2021
Did You Fall in Love at First Sight or In a Kiddie Pool Full of KFC Gravy? by Jenny Crowley|May 21, 2021
It’s Time to End Unemployment Benefits and Put In an Honest Day’s Work at the Rainforest Cafe by Jacob Nakshian|May 21, 2021
Ideas for Sides at Restaurants That Are More Satisfying Than Bags of Chips by Christopher Laychak|May 20, 2021
I’m Quitting—This Bowling Alley Is Going to Have to Find a New CGI Skeleton to Go On-Screen After a Strike by Walt Braley|May 20, 2021
I’m That Fixer-Upper House in an Up-and-Coming Neighborhood, But Beware, I’ve Seen a Lot of Orgies by BJ Jeranyama|May 19, 2021
Proverbs and Idioms, Revised to Make Me Feel Better About Animals I’ve Accidentally Killed by Matt Butner|May 18, 2021
I Am the Mom in the Mop Commercial, and I Am Ready to Be the Mom in the Vacation Commercial by Sarah Layden|May 17, 2021
I’m Not Panicking, I’m Just Buying Up All the Gas Because I’m the Most Important Person on Earth by Andy Spain|May 14, 2021
Quotes from Couple’s Counseling or Tweets from Indians Criticizing Their Government? by Abhijato Sensarma|May 13, 2021
Are You Still Working at Home with Your Cats, Or Are You Back at the Office with Your Co-Workers? by Katy Clark|May 12, 2021
I’m the BBC Earth Hummingbird, and I Did Not Consent to This Use of My Image by Catherine Davis|May 11, 2021
Ethan Frome’s Depressing-as-Fuck Hometown of Starkfield, MA: Historic Snowshoeing Tour by Kerry Reynolds|May 8, 2021
What I Plan to Do This Weekend, Knowing a 23-Ton Piece of Space Debris Is Expected to Crash Randomly into the Planet by Jessica Delfino|May 7, 2021
The Best White Noise App Just Got Better with City Sounds You’ll Love by Viktoria Shulevich|May 7, 2021
Are You Paranoid? Take This Social Media Quiz for People Who Hate Social Media Quizzes by Margo Bartlett|May 7, 2021
Everything I Told Brenda, Who Waxed My Bikini Line the Day I Became Fully Vaccinated by Anna Currell|May 6, 2021
Yes, I’m Cheating on You with the Ghost of My High School Boyfriend, But Hear Me Out by Lane Koivu|May 5, 2021
Why Amazon’s New “Lord of the Rings” Show Is So Expensive by Evan Allgood and Cara Michelle Smith|May 5, 2021
Re-Entering Society After a Year of Quarantine or After 26 Years Stuck in Jumanji? by Derek Mari|May 4, 2021
Barntalk.net’s Final Blog Post: What to Do When You Find Matt Damon Preparing to Reprise His Role as “Spirit” in Your Barn by Joe Wellman|May 4, 2021
I’m a Superhero Who Saved the World Twice, and I Still Can’t Get a Bank Loan by Tiffany Babb|May 3, 2021
An Email from HR Re: Office Improvements to Support Employees’ Physical and Mental Health Post-COVID-19 by Bryn Bissey|May 3, 2021
Mr. Bones Bares All About Life as a Skeleton in the Modern Classroom by Steven Angtuaco|April 30, 2021
Four Benefits of Climate Change, According to a 19th Century Adventurer by Michael Labrecque|April 30, 2021
Sometimes I Think About My Childhood Best Friend and Wonder “Whatever Happened to That Guy?” by Anthony Scibelli|April 29, 2021
18 Reasons Why My Electric Toothbrush Is Having a Better Existence Than I Am by Darlene Crane|April 29, 2021
8 Reboots That Literally Ruined Your Childhood and Also, Your Half of the Rent Is Due by Tyler Christiansen|April 29, 2021
Attention Rec Center Patrons, We’re Adding the Following Pool Rules This Season Because Your Shit Kid Is on Our Last Nerve by Jacob Albrecht|April 28, 2021
The Middle-Aged Viewer’s Questions upon Watching All 8 “Fast & Furious” Movies on the Elliptical, Ranked by K.E. Flann|April 26, 2021
Most Insightful Quotes from Mark Twain That I Have Falsely Attributed to Him by Camden Brazile|April 23, 2021
I Am an Employee Helping You with Self-Checkout and Aren’t You Full of Yourself by Calen MacDonald|April 23, 2021
“The Bends” by Radiohead – Super Deluxe Ultimate Fancy Pants Sexy Limited Edition Box Set by Neil Tollfree|April 22, 2021
I’m an NPC in a Role-Playing Video Game and Could You Get Out of My House by Neil Tollfree|April 22, 2021
