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Geoff’s been out here slingin’ Coors Light at double-A ballgames for longer than most of these white coat jokers been alive.
You dropped out of law school to travel around the world “like an Australian.” I knew this was the beginning of something special.
We would like to apologize to some of our team members for leaving them off our initial list: Kyle in shipping, our office temp Brayden, and Aquaman.
We know you're eager to get back to inconsistent monthly visits to your 87-year-old father and checking your watch and sighing the entire time.
Through budgeting tweaks and a winning Powerball lottery ticket, you, too, can be living with no debt and $400 million in savings.
I know that our omni-everything boss is obsessed with blood metaphors, but this seems a bit gratuitous.
I should never have strayed from the routine. The second I opened that dessert cupboard I knew it was a mistake.
It consists of wearing a bespoke suit, carrying a pocket watch, looking through binoculars, and having a staunch belief that America peaked in 1948.
It was never my intention to glamorize having lots of sex with beautiful women and I'm sorry if it came across that way.
I wouldn’t know what to do with multi-book deals and movie rights and reprint rights and the avalanche of capital from being on the bestseller list.
If someone had asked me before I found her who Amelia Earhart was, I would have asked “Who?” unsuspiciously.
The reality: You wouldn’t guess that gasoline is more precious than blood in the Southern Wastes with how long these rats were on that engine block.