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The first of your progeny is not your finest. They’re laden with flaws: entitlement, jealousy, anxiety, and approval-seeking tendencies.
Maybe you thought being stinky was intentional on my part, like I decided my “gimmick” is that I’m the bank robber who stinks?
I have narrowly avoided being chewed up by a rat, a cat, and a very aggressive pet bird. I have also developed a severe dust allergy.
Riker, age 2 Theme: Toy Story Drinks: Miller Lite Damage: The moms nearly caught us dads vaping in the garage.
Though the sun may soon set on this discount code, my passion for your touch shall never fade!
AT A PASTRY SHOP: “While I do appreciate this lemon meringue pie—it’s very sweet, which is fun for a dessert if that’s what you’re going for."
With five minutes left in the movie, I am about to undergo a radical psychological transformation and become brave.
MY PET PEEVE: Rom Com. He may not be man’s best friend, but Peeve is just the pal Stewart needs in this wag of a tale about overcoming annoyances.
This happens every year. The heat of August sets in and like a bear waking from hibernation, my ravenous appetite for tomatoes reemerges.
Before you win me over you must first guess my secret. I’ll take you on a wandering journey, through these dirty, cobblestone Parisian alleys.
Easy, effortless transitional pieces for looking like a regular person who may or may not have health insurance.
Remember when you had it made in the shade? When you and your lady could cut a rug all night long? That's right, it was the 1990s.