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The One Attached to a Wire, Flying Over the Intersection: She’s in mid-air without a care in the world. She’s your manic pixie dream light.
“I can’t accept this, it’s obviously been used.” “Well yes, but only in January, February, and the first week of March. But then ppffhtt,” I spit.
We’re RACING to clarify: We do NOT only sell white-wall tires. Complementary road-side assistance does NOT include a “cruise to da make-out spot.”
Living the past 16 years as the solitary Snapple left in the "Friends" fridge, I cherish what I have, even if it’s only the royalties from reruns.
Protests are okay but I can't go to the Olive Garden because I use the breadsticks for things that are "objectionable" and "extremely upsetting?"
I wouldn’t be the Prince of Darkness if I didn’t defend myself against these recent transgressions and bring the truth to light, so to speak.
If someone says “stop,” goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. If someone coughs, has shortness of breath, or has a fever, the fight does not begin.
I cannot believe you had the gall to march into our Farmingdale headquarters, and rather than claim your birthright, insist that you go to college.
Being is a condition that has been linked to depression, a crippling sense of loss, getting attacked by alligators, and even death.
Some people say that sharks take nibbles to satisfy their curiosity. Rest assured, we're coming to bite you because we want to bite you.
What could be more healthy than taking a spelling test while boulders—such as the one that just flattened Senator Constantine—fall from the sky?
"Her butt is coming out first," my mom's ob-gyn told her six hours into her contractions. "This baby is just not the right fit."