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Our guide to this season’s hottest hairstyles will have you looking fresher than an aquarium after a water change.
In today's social climate, I've learned to not be hasty when judging people because I'm slowly learning that you humans frequently make mistakes.
Wanting to avoid doing three year's worth of laundry, I shall strike out once again, this time to conquer IKEA.
Of course it was beyond disturbing to me, especially at work, as there were litter boxes in all the conference rooms. And nobody seemed to mind.
My first word was "pasghetti." You can say "spaghetti" all you want, but fact is, I say pasghetti.
And though he was quite charming over the phone, in-person it was hard not to focus on his exceptionally poor oral hygiene.
I know you don’t get me, but there was once a time when people just like you would walk past and think, “Wow. That’s one heck of a sculpture."
How did you hear about this opening? Indeed, LinkedIn, or National Inquirer?
I low-balled a museum in Plymouth into selling me wax statues of sick Pilgrims from their “passengers who didn’t survive the Mayflower” exhibit.
We must answer the question of how Harry, a man I once saw eat a Skittle off the men’s room floor, conquered the forbidden frontiers of science.
I wish I had said that. Instead, I broke into an ugly cry and stumbled from the room, having jammed a big toe on the life-sized skeleton model.
Unfortunately, I can no longer continue in my role as Associate Proselytizer, as I disagree with many of the Company's policies and decisions.