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I finish my first Peloton class and am so proud of myself I have a small panic attack. You can get panic attacks from joy, right?
Marilyn Brewster was surrounded by loved ones including her beautiful, perfect daughter Deborah who I could make so happy if she’d return my calls.
You’re holding in your hands as sophisticated an anti-terrorist device as God in his worshipful workshop has ever devised!
This residency is fully funded and exists in an alternate universe where the words fully funded do not mean we give you funds.
“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”
In the end, I think the main takeaway for most bigtime movie buffs is the masterful performance of one Joseph “The Spanish Rattlesnake” Pesci.
The internet is one big lie. If you think someone’s telling the truth online, then you’re lying to yourself.
"Pop, I have no platform! I have no platform, Pop! Can't you understand?"
Despite his worldwide fame and success in other sports leagues, Jordan has racked up an abysmal 0 total NHL goals.
You have a sense of inferiority to people with innies, but a sense of superiority to kangaroos and other marsupials that lack belly buttons.
As you might expect, my dad is incredibly excited about this new chapter in his life. He’s been preparing for it for almost 50 years.
If I travel back in time, we need to have a code word to indicate to the other person that I have time-traveled. Our code word will be “arugula.”