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Flood solution? Plastic bags. Let’s collect them all and combine them into one giant, country-crossing, water-catching, plastic bag.
ROUND 1 The Country: Gave us Major League Baseball The Hispanics: Gave us Big Papi Winner: The Hispanics
Here's how it works: use the app to locate the nearest stack of tires and a pole that I've dropped off all across the city. Then assemble!
Press 10 to talk to a Customer Service Representative. This is never going to happen, of course, but we all have dreams.
I hear people claim the internet is watching their every move, and I say "Are my moves not worthy?"
Ma’am, you’ll have to speak up. War is really gearing up for tomorrow’s grand finale, and his machines are pretty loud.
“We’re number one!” I cheer. The team wheels around. “No,” they respond. “YOU’RE number one.” Then they offer to pay off all of my debt.
Humorous: Suggest, as a possible place of origin, "Yo momma’s ass." Smile to indicate that you are "just kidding."
It’s really nice catching up like this, but I do feel like we need to have a little talk, bear to man.
Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.
Minilla plods off, leaving Monster Island by himself. Godzilla chokes back his atomic ray as he remembers the first time he laid eyes on him.
Now you’re suspended on a wall of shard glass as rabid monkeys devour your intestines and Dave Matthews’ 2002 album “Busted Stuff” blasts on repeat.