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Diamonds might be a girl’s best friend, but a heart-shaped blurry photo on printer paper is her other best friend.
Appetizer: Meat Yogurt -- What's the one thing moms love more than fruit? Duh, it's yogurt!
All lifeguards are entitled to one free snack per day. In exchange, all snack bar employees are entitled to one free rescue per day. Make it count.
Adjusting the height of my desk chair is my therapy. Nothing says self-care like taking small measures to prevent repetitive strain injury.
Many of you hare aware of the plumbing issue recently discovered in the sacristy toilet, a situation Father David referred to as “a test of faith.”
How could I ever dream of being a proponent of it when, in reality, I am a victim, torturously stalked by drama at every turn?!
Imagine: Taco Bell Cantinas, free of the pressure to appeal to a burgeoning youth market, would once more become—simply—Taco Bells.
Many viewers claim that this was an accident, but the truth is that every aspect of this show is meticulously planned including Ed Sheeran’s cameo.
You don't release a fleet of driverless vehicles on a city and not expect someone to try to lasso one and wrestle it to a stop.
“You won’t be needing that anymore,” you told me “from now on, you’re known as ‘sad male employee burns mouth on coffee too hot office man.'”
Falling: Your subconscious is saying that you need to go back to school or enlist. You’re falling away from your stupid wakeboarding career.
I am the only one in my sphere of influence who has a truck that hauls ass. As such, my friends frequently call me to haul some ass for them.