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For new patients, let me tell you about the opening scene. We fade in on a beach, sand caked with blood being washed away by the waves!
The filming schedules for the shows overlap so that I always have at least two competing crews filming me at once and oftentimes, all four.
A lot of the information Spotify gives you doesn’t seem that interesting anyway. I don’t even think “Toxic Positivity Delusioncore” is a real genre.
Consider that if you had stolen a different car (like my neighbor’s Prius, as an arbitrary example) and left mine unharmed.
“Love one another,” commanded Jesus Christ, continuing, “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Sorry.”
Instead of practical commitments, we’ve asked them to show up with the filthiest, horniest fanfic about an environmentalist allegory ever.
If there’s a place to get a cheaper, more unpleasant handjob, I’ve probably put them out of business.
I think you should ask your doctor about how your lower GI issues could be alleviated with a daily regimen of Green Crack.
Welcome to Your Cheap New Apartment! Your main quest is to violate your lease without getting caught.
You scrolled your own Instagram profile for 3 hours last week. You will never get that time back.
“I reckon this town ain’t big enough for The Both of Us, my start-up concept for a novelty cowboy singles bar.”
This family has a rich history of Crazy Uncles ruining Thanksgiving. A tradition that you are now responsible for.