Over 15,000 funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. New humor articles daily. Featured | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories | Topics | Random | Submit an Article
Hey, it's your Facebook buddy here. No, not Tom, fuck him. Just want you to know that I'm thinking up new ways for you to scare people.
We gather here today to remember an old friend who was there for us even when we were 'rubbing myself all over and getting wet.' Farewell, my dearly departed away messages.
Summer's right around the corner, but the last semester home stretch isn't without its trials and tribulations. Like finals, and quarter beer nights.
Historically, men have always been the hornier of the two sexes. But what would happen if women suddenly juiced up their hormones?
Alcohol: it's been by your side as long as you can remember. But now there are a few grievances it must accept to continue being consumed.
Back pains and difficulty urinating? You might just wanna tough it out...that is, unless you enjoyed your last alien anal probe.
Women beware, I have no time for a relationship or feelings other than the throes of orgasm. Sorry, but you're not cutting the mustard.
You thought going to a party school would elevate your social status. Turns out it only made you geekier by comparison.
Assuming you already have a bed and a desk, here are the next most important things you'll need in your two-person college jail cell.
A last name is forever. Unfortunately, if your last name involves any reference to pop culture, so are the repetitive, annoying jokes.
Congratulations, you're just five steps away from making everyone on campus feel strangely confused and uncomfortable in your presence!
If you're an amateur dresser, chances are the fashion elitists, also known as your friends, are breathing down your shirt.