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Take a few breaths, now a few more breaths. Are you really wheezing already? That was only the second trip to the U-Haul.
With the last dregs of humanity, I became one of the lucky few to be invited into a reinforced bunker (along with my pal Mike, who is not as grateful).
Let’s see. What else can we dredge up from the darkest recesses of your mind to totally fuck up your night?
Only when determined to be A Good Dude or A Pretty Good Dude, will This Dude I Know become My Buddy.
After a moment of self-reflection, Jeff decides spying is unethical and this neighbors deserve more respect.
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
Now the haters are gonna eat their words like a saturated fat-soaked afterschool snack.
There is no need for me to use fancy equipment or creams. I do not belong in Hollywood. That is not my natural habitat.
My sticker is hilarious because instead of a normie cartoon of my nonexistent wife and darling children, I’ve got two big guns.
Due to an unexpected internal error, Micro haft Word i pre ently unable to di play the letter " ."
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
Pancakes?! Why not mashed potatoes? Who makes pancakes for dinner, especially Thanksgiving dinner?