Over 15,000 funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. New humor articles daily. Featured | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories | Topics | Random | Submit an Article
So magical are they, that if you purchase them now, by tomorrow they’ll be worth thousands, perhaps even millions of dollars!
The bar gets lower every year, and you still haven't managed to clear it. But this one. This is the year. You can feel it.
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
And so I asked Conqueror if he was a new Uber driver, and he said unto me, "As a matter of fact, this is my first day driving."
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
Blonde Pinocchio was a blatantly transparent attempt for Geppetto to cash in on the notoriety of his most famous creation.
How many times have we seen the same old Frankenstein’s monster? So get excited, because THIS Monster stabs.
I resolve to say "No" more often to things like babysitting around the clock for my friends.
Phork: This is an eating utensil composed of a traditional fork and a Phil Collins action figure.
I will run a mile every morning… but if my knee is acting up, I will walk instead… unless it’s raining, of course… or even drizzling...
The other day I caught up with a gaggle of humans bobbing around in a wave pool and the first thing I thought of was “flesh corks.”
3. List the toys/gifts/cash you received from family members other than Auntie Abigail. (Because this auntie can top whatever you got.)