The Donald Trump Rap
"I will build a great wall - nobody builds walls better than me." Take a look around, "I am the least racist person there is." I simply think black people shouldn't have kids.
Comedy Writing
Buzzfeed Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Myself
Before Buzzfeed, we had no idea which Destiny's Child character we were, or which European city we should live in. Now we've entered an era of absolute self-discovery.
“Those Aren’t My Jarred Feces”
Now that tampons aren't allowed in the Texas Senate, here is how I imagine the conversation went when a bag inspector lifted a jar of poo from a citizen's purse.
The Relationship Compatibility Quiz You Won’t Find in Cosmo
Feel free to apply this simple questionnaire to your own relationship—unless of course you're already married and aren't in the mood for bad news.
Cover Letter From a College Grad with No Skills
Dear Sir, my mom made me contact you regarding the position of Costumer Service Rep because she's tired of seeing me play video games in my underwear.
Now I Know Why Strippers Don’t Eat Indian Food
It's hard enough to cook Indian food that tastes good, but to follow up a lousy meal with a gassy pole dancing class in front of real strippers just adds insult to injury.
I Thought We All Agreed to Pee in the Ocean
Oceans, as far as I was concerned, are considered full speed ahead. Open the floodgates. Yellow is mellow. Before you know it, a wave will dissipate the concern anyway.