New York, NY

Calvin: "I say it's a fallacy that kids need 12 years of school! Three months is plenty! Look at me. I'm smart! I don't need 11 1/2 more years of school! It's a complete waste of my time!" Hobbes: "How on earth did you get all the way to the bus stop with both feet through one pant leg?" Calvin: "I fell down a lot. ...

Comedy Writing

For the Cradlerobbers

People always say, "Age ain't nothin' but a number." I want to start applying that to other stuff. I'm going to go into a store, get a bunch of expensive stuff, then only give the cashier a dollar. If I get stopped I'll just get all sassy and say, "Price ain't nothin' but a number."

Missed ConnXtions

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I miss reading a weird French blogger who used to post. I felt like we had a real connection...<br /><br />Anyway, one of my favorite social experiments is posting weird stuff on craigslist and seeing how many serious responses I get. A copy of a recent missed connection I posted (If anybody cares, I'll let y'all know what kind of responses I get):<br />

This is Where I Get Off

The door opens<br />I step through in a swift motion<br />Already there is an insistent bulge in my pants.<br /><br />She is there waiting for me.<br />My dick leads me to stand behind her<br /><br />Jesus.<br />Her behind.<br /><br />I graze my hand softly<br />imperceptibly<br />across the soft mound of her supple ass<br />I love it when she wears these jeans.<br /><br />I breathe quietly

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