Steal These Tweets: America the Absurd
50 tweets highlighting the most ridiculous aspects of American culture. Click on any of them to retweet. Know that you did something funny for your country.
Tag: Hungry Hungry Hippocampus
Country Music is Immoral and Illegal
There's just one problem with country music: it glorifies breaking both the laws of God and men. Here are a few of the worst offenses, including stalking and homicide.
10 Spooky Two-Sentence Stories
My boss greeted me with a "How are you?" as he walked by in the morning. Before I could catch myself, I answered, "Not much, you?"
The 4 Most Likely Theories Explaining the Missing Malaysia Flight 370
Could this be a hijacking of both a plane and the American public to try to teach them something about geography? Somebody get Nance Grace on this.
Quiz: What Kind of Malaysia Airlines Disappearance Theorist Are You?
A 10-question quiz to reveal your Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Disappearance Theorist identity Are you the Pilot Suicide, the Catastrophic Failure, or something else?
Obamacare Horror Stories That Will Scare the Lamination Off Your Insurance Card
Obamacare: the most frightening thing to emerge from the womb of the Communist Obama jihad squad. Here are three real-life examples of the healthcare failure.
Shut the Fuck Up, You Did Not See a Ghost
No matter how many Americans believe ghosts exist, shut the fuck up, you didn't see a ghost or anything supernatural for that matter. Here's why.
5 Reasons It’s Kind of a Shitty Idea to Have Kids
There are as many reasons to have children as tear drops on Taylor Swift's guitar, but sometimes you find out, like the tear drops, those reasons are just...gonorrhea.
Turns Out You Don’t Really Have Free Will
People like to believe that they control what they enjoy doing, when in fact most of their preferences can be traced back to their unconscious brain.
How Rocky IV Ended the Cold War
Some say Reagan's policies helped end the Cold War, others say the Russians just realized how hot their women were. But none of that is true.
Advanced Relationship Advice with Uncle Jeff
I think you're underestimating how important a layer of mystery is in maintaining sexual seduction in a relationship. No guy should ever know what a tampon is.
10 Ways to Make Your Facebook Profile Sexier
It's time you embrace social networking, and use Facebook the way all exceptional people do: to get laid. Here's some research to make your profile sexier.