Links from Instagram Posts

May 15

This Date Isn’t Going So Great, So I’ll Pretend I’m In the NHL Playoffs

• by Rowdy Geirsson

May 15

5 Surefire Ways to Get Elton John to Come to Your Open-Casket Funeral

• by Brooks Oglesby

May 14

If You See Something, Say Something

• by Brian Agler

May 14

Advice From One Mad Scientist to Another: Don’t Open That Interdimensional Gateway

• by Lee Blevins

May 13

New HGTV Shows That are Guaranteed Ratings Juggernauts

• by Casey Rand

May 13

I Know, I Know, I’m the Last Roman in the Republic Who Hasn’t Seen the New Gladiator Show

• by Mitchell Friedman

May 12

8 Things You Should Never Say on a First Date

• by Wesley Jansen

May 12

We Have Created a Computer That Can Feel Love, But Unfortunately It Sucks at Chess

• by Jeremiah Budin

May 11

Do Not Buy a Star for Your Wife on Mother’s Day

• by Josh Lorenzo

May 11

Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It, Is to Get My Stepson Keith to Stop Yelling “You’ve Got That Silly Putty Dick” at Me

• by Ryan Ciecwisz

May 10

I’m the King-Shit of Comedy and I’m Going to Absolutely Ruin This Substitute Teacher

• by Brooks Oglesby

May 10

A Voicemail Greeting from a Person Who Hates Voicemails

• by Eddie Small

May 9

Fun Things to Do in the Big City If You’re a Douchebag

• by Ben Hargrave

May 8

Unmailed Greeting Cards for My Therapist

• by Jordan Namerow

May 8

An Open Letter to Greedy Los Angeles Homeowners

• by Laura Randall

May 7

Open Letter from a White Gay

• by Garrett Schlichte

May 7

The Many Phones of Michael Cohen

• by Elizabeth Scher

May 6

An Open Letter to the Adult Man in Target Who Decided He Didn’t Want Keebler’s Coconut Dreams

• by Liane Houseman

May 6

We’re Recruiting for Our Libertarian Utopia!

• by Rick McDermott

May 5

Boy Scout Cookies

• by Elizabeth Scher

May 5

Ranking the 2018 Kentucky Derby Horses by Name

• by Campbell Rico

May 4

Five Signs That Your Barber is Collecting Your Hair So He Can Secretly Clone You

• by Ryan Ciecwisz

May 4

A Brief History of the Metric System

• by Mike Tymofie

May 3

I Can’t Have Communication Issues, I Majored in Communications

• by Brian Carroll-Wray

May 3

Please Vote For Me, I’m Exactly Who You Said You Wanted

• by Megan Downey

May 2

Please Do Not Bring Your Three-Eyed Troll to My Keynote Address at the National Three-Eyed Troll Association Convention

• by Lillian Stone

May 2

How to Have the Perfect Hollywood Meeting

• by Alexander Heller

May 1

A List of Pastoral Poems Written by Historically Famous Political Pundits

• by Thais Miller

May 1

Truthful Alumni Magazine Class Notes

• by Keaton Patti

Apr 30

All These Jokes About Appearance Were Just Uncalled For, Michelle Wolf

• by Elizabeth Scher

Apr 30

The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan

• by James Folta

Apr 29

Failed TV Show Pitches for Disgraced Male Entertainers

• by Elizabeth Scher