Links from Instagram Posts

Dec 20

What the Commercials During “Days of Our Lives” Say About You, the Pathetic Daytime Viewer

• by Rebecca Anderson

Dec 20

Re: Need a Date to My Office Holiday Party

• by Sarah Hass

Dec 19

Find Top-Rated Live Nativities at Churches in Your Neighborhood With This New Rotten Tomatoes-Style App

• by Astrid Johnson-Krause

Dec 19

The Donald J. Trump Presidential Library Yacht Puts All Others to Shame

• by John Wood

Dec 18

Welcome to Sephora, We Invented Faces

• by Koby Omansky

Dec 18

Son, You’re Going to Have to Tell Me More About This Guy You Saw Mommy Kissing Underneath the Mistletoe Last Night

• by Justin Courter

Dec 17

Merry Christmas From the Millers to All You Fuckers

• by Janet Eve Josselyn

Dec 17

An Open Apology to Fellow “Justice League” Viewers Who Heard Me Explain How I’d “Treat Superman Right”

• by Katy Mayfield

Dec 16

Death Stars Must Be Legalized for Private Ownership

• by Rick McDermott

Dec 16

30-Point NYC Subway Improvement Plan

• by Larry Ryals

Dec 15

Hi, This is Jimmy from Wikipedia and I’m Writing to Ask, One Last Time: Please Consider Paying Me Back for Your Portion of Last Sunday’s Brunch

• by Josh Lee

Dec 15

Just Because I’m a Little Drunk and Homeless Doesn’t Mean I Can’t Berate This Pile of Garbage

• by G. Raymond Leavold

Dec 14

How to Celebrate Christmas Without Letting Your Cousin Know You Want to Fuck

• by Sarah Vulpio

Dec 14

I’m an Introvert, Which I’ll Now Talk About for Three Hours

• by Pamela Ross

Dec 13

What to Do in the Event of a Shark Attack

• by Ryan Ciecwisz

Dec 13

Barron Trump’s Letter to Santa

• by Justine McGrath

Dec 12

EPIC FAIL! This Nobel Laureate Doesn’t Know How to Operate an Industrial-Grade Thresher

• by Nick Matthews

Dec 11

An Open Letter on Maturity to Jonathan from His Penis

• by Lauren Morris

Dec 10

How to Nail Your Next Job Interview Even Though the Return of Xwq, the Celestial Obliviator, is All You Can Think About

• by Alexandro Strauss

Dec 9

9 Christmas Movies for the Whole Family (Updated to Reflect the Latest Hollywood Scandals)

• by Evan Purcell

Dec 8

4 Reasons You Will Fall Asleep During Sex in Your 20’s

• by Matt Kennedy

Dec 8

A Legendary Afternoon of Batting Practice with My 10-Year-Old Son

• by Margot Moray

Dec 7

9 Perfect Holiday Gifts for the Trump Supporter in Your Life

• by Justine McGrath

Dec 6

Pursue an Accelerated Ninja/Rock Star Dual Degree at Franklin Morse College

• by Trip Fielding

Dec 5

Leaked Notes From Two Friday the 13th Producers Discussing a Sequel

• by Evan Purcell

Dec 4

The Scrambler: Your Nemesis at Every Local Amusement Park

• by Alan Resnick

Dec 3

The Differences Between Going Abroad as a Tourist, a Backpacker, or a Traveler

• by Jon Fish

Dec 2

3 Shocking Things I Learned Working at Home Depot

• by Astrid Johnson-Krause

Dec 1

I Am the Best Neopets Player in All of Neopia

• by Donald J. Trump

Nov 30

The New York Times Reports That a Meteor Will Destroy Earth in Two Days—Don’t Believe It

• by Evan Purcell

Nov 29

Is Your “Improv Team” Actually an Alt-Right Men’s Group?

• by Tim Eberle

Nov 28

10 Time-Saving Beauty Tips From a New Mom

• by Margot Moray