Links from Instagram Posts

Sep 30

Termites and What Else to Expect on My Houseboat Airbnb

Sep 30

Are You a Leftist or a Grown-Up Character from “The Breakfast Club”?

Sep 30

A Letter from Your CEO During These Unprecedented Times

Sep 29

Backstories for the Stuffed Animals in Simulated Baseball Audience

Sep 29

Merch from Elite Colleges I Did Not Attend

Sep 29

I’m the Fly on the Wall and Trust Me You Do NOT Want to Be Me

Sep 28

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead and Truthfully, I’m Looking Forward to It

Sep 28

It’s Really Really Really Important That We as 10-Year-Old Boys Stand Together and Get the Cooties Vaccine

Sep 27

5 Running Shoes That Won’t Help Me Escape the Reality That My Wife Is Having an Affair with David Attenborough

Sep 27

Your Best Man Will Not Commit to a Peaceful Transfer of Vows

Sep 26

Telemarketing Cold Call Script for Dugan’s Carpet Cleaning

Sep 26

I’m the Friend Who Gets Emotional When Drunk and Needs to Tell You Something in the Bathroom Right Now

Sep 25

Wanna Hang Out?

Sep 25

Simple Lines to Drop for Getting Out of Babysitting Your Friends’ New Baby

Sep 25

The Run-Over Deer You’ve Decided to Use as a Symbol for Your Crumbling Relationship Has Had Enough

Sep 24

A Plea for a Return to Decency

Sep 24

Responses to What People Wrote in My High School Yearbook

Sep 24

The Ghost Host Would Like to Voice Some Concerns on This Haunted Mansion Tour

Sep 23

Nextdoor Posts in Stephen King Novels

Sep 23

How to Ensure Your Grandchild Suffers for Decades After Your Passing

Sep 23

I Am Your Third-Party Vendor, and I Will Fulfill All Your Needs

Sep 22

We Only Use Murphy’s Oil Soap to Clean These Church Pews So Get the Fuck Off My Nuts with Your All-Natural Homemade Cleaner

Sep 22

Simon Says for All the Single Ladies

Sep 22

I’m Sick of the Liberal Media Telling Me How to Think—That’s Why I Get All My News from the “Pets” Section of Craigslist

Sep 21

Michael Moore Documentaries of the Future

Sep 21

Word Problems for Pandemic Weddings

Sep 21

Choose Your Own University-Approved Pandemic Teaching Option

Sep 20

An Open Letter from a Disgruntled Vampire

Sep 20

Re-Elect Me Sheriff of Kingston Falls or Gremlins Will Destroy Our Town Again, by Sheriff Frank

Sep 19

Memo to Staff: It’s the Apocalypse, But That Doesn’t Mean It’s the End of the World

Sep 19

A Conversation Between German Chancellor Angela Merkel and the Guy with a Mask Dangling from One Ear at the Speed-N-Go

Sep 18

Beginner’s Guide to Writing a Birthday Text Message