Frequently Asked Questions About Revel Mopeds
Who's Approving All These People to Drive Electric Mopeds in New York in Less Than 15 Minutes? Steve!
Tag: Anger
How to Talk to Your Child About the Prophecy They Must Fulfill
Discovering that he was born into a secret society who are defending the Earth and influencing world events may be difficult for your son to process.
How to Make Him Come So Hard He Turns into Al Pacino from “Scent of a Woman” and Yells “HOOAH!”
Next thing you know you’ll be tangoing in the sheets yelling “HOOAH!” like the blind retired army veteran Al Pacino won the Oscar for portraying.
Various Life Crises You Will Undergo
Quarter of a Quarter Life Crisis: Age 6. You will cope by throwing tantrums before bedtime and refusing to share your trucks with Jeremy.
Ken Cuccinelli Rejects “The New Colossus”
“And her name, Mother of Exiles” --- Where did you get this name from? The current working title of the statue is “Water Hello Person.”
Welcome to Other You: Box Subscriptions From the Multiverse
From your Lifestyle Influencer Universe: Eyelash extensions so huge and long they make it impossible to open your eyes. You’ll feel like Bambi!
Unfortunately, You Have Not Been Accepted to the United States of America
You also referenced a desire to give your children a better life than you were afforded. Unfortunately, the board felt this was a bit unoriginal.
Bullets Beg America: Please Stop Bullying Us!
Okay, we’re a large part of literally every war, but so are doctors and no one blames them.
10 Reasons Why Dog Owners in Seattle Made Me Hate Dogs
It’s a street fair, not a dog park. Your unpredictable canine is not having fun and neither am I. You can’t be apart for one hour? Seek therapy.
An Apology for Not Drinking at the Party Last Night
Waking up this morning without a hangover was a total bummer, and I fully regret making a conscious decision to do so.
Stages of Grief That You, A Prospective Homeowner, Will Have to Process Before Accepting Your Fate and Becoming a Mole Person
Obsession: Refresh Zillow every three minutes. Ignore texts from your friends. Optimize your meals by blending your food & sipping it from a thermos.
How to Absolutely and Utterly Bomb at an Open Mic
If you hear a man joke, “I’m a real feminist because I would never tell a woman to smile; I yell at them to frown,” then you’ve found the right crowd.