I Plan to Do Great Work Today
I plan to do great work today. Just as soon as I...check Instagram to see if that guy posted more dumb pictures of that thing he thinks is cool.
Tag: Anger
I Dated a Vampire and It Sucked
He used words like “dooth” and “swete”, and I still have no idea what they mean. And his fashion is from the 1300s -- lots of beige-colored tunics.
The Five Stages of Grief for an Unanswered Tinder Message
Depression: Did I go too far by putting a puppy on my lap as I hold a guitar? Sure, I don’t know how to play guitar, but she doesn’t know that.
How to Get Past Your Baseball Team Losing in the Playoffs…Again
If your friend's team was the one that eliminated your team, tell them they can see you at your funeral.
Leaving Neil Armstrong’s Homemade Banner Out of “First Man” Ignores That the Moon Landing was a Completely Individual Achievement
When finally he stepped out onto the moon, he spoke those iconic first words: "Look what I did.... all by myself… with no one's help."
We Must Remember Gulak the Baby-Eater as a Patriot, Not an Eater of Babies
Consider all the babies that Gulak didn't devour. This country is full of succulent babies that weren't eaten by Gulak at all, not even a little bit.
Woke Gear for the Politically Correct
New at Macy’s are Cordial-Roy® casual slacks---virtue you can wear. Looking good while avoiding social indiscretion never looked, well, so good!
My Car is Dead But My Soul is Alive
God, I haven't ridden a bike for years. Okay, that still works. Yes, I have thighs. Thick thighs. Strong thighs. Thunder God thighs.
English Lit Grads: Choose a Career in Tech Support
There are at least two sides to a story. The client will think their version is the only true story. Don’t waste time convincing them of the truth.
What Happens When You Stop Following Trump News: A Week-by-Week Guide
Week 5: Recognizing that life is all too fragile and almost anything can be forgiven, you begin repairing the relationship with your estranged father.
If Not Now, When? The Case for Allowing Hurricanes Back to Our Coastlines
Don't hurricanes matter too, despite destroying entire communities? To me, justice is not shaming the Hurricane forever and ever until the end of time.
75 Years Since #MeToo: Men Have Never Had It Worse
Since #MeToo, most men have ceased screaming sexually explicit compliments from the open windows of their turbo-charged street shuttles.