Bathrooms | Page 3 | Points in Case

Tag: Bathrooms

“Be where your enemy is not.” When your roommate occupies the shower, secure the sofa or most comfortable communal chair, as well as the remote.

Weak and easily preyed upon, the Sickly Spotted Woody Pecker has evolved to compensate for its innate physical disadvantages.

My business cards are written on giant chalkboards with a topical joke that changes when I feel like it, and I send all receipts to your email.

“D-Did I leave my Chapstick over here?” Meadowbrook blurted. “Oh!” She said. “If you did, I haven’t seen it. Maybe it floated out of your pod?”

All lifeguards are entitled to one free snack per day. In exchange, all snack bar employees are entitled to one free rescue per day. Make it count.

Vibrating Bath Bomb: We are not allowed to discuss what this may be used for (we are allowed to discuss murder and drugs, but sex is off the table).

I don’t have to worry about sun protection because we are not even sure the sun exists anymore.

I know what you're thinking: “A whole mansion for just $150! What a deal! I wonder if the low price has anything to do with that horrifying clown!”

The 1960s: Students are now allowed to bring lunches with them to school.

The first person to admit they didn’t read the book taps out and may open the wine. Watching the movie doesn’t count as reading the book.

Have fun cooking on your one-burner stove. I’m spit-roasting an entire side of beef that’s been marinating for 3 weeks in Cab Sav.

Also, I’ve requisitioned the men’s room for my milling and mashing. I’m not going to be hauling raw grain up the stairs for each and every batch.