Clothes | Page 7 | Points in Case

Tag: Clothes

I send Joey down the slide delivering truth bombs like: GRAMMY SPOILS ME---AT LEAST SHE WOULD IF CONGRESS WASN’T PILFERING HER SOCIAL SECURITY.

After living the bore of your nine-to-five stability, you’re ready for some extra, life-long, exciting (did I say “life-long”?) responsibility.

You know what it looks like. It’s the same tank top I wear every time we get together to defeat an age-old evil or combat a monstrous hellion.

Standing on his tiptoes, he craned over their hunched heads, hoping to get a glimpse of the candidates.

Smoke salvia out of sister's vacuum cleaner. Land a kickflip in the middle of the woods with nobody around, next to a fallen tree.

No one else in this house has to be a Morning Person other than the Wake-Up Fairy! Isn’t that great? And now it’s time to get ready for school.

And when I turned to find you, you were gone. How is that even possible? How could I fail to notice your location or distinguishing features?

1. Sept 5, 2000 - The Band One / Identifying Marks: Your HS boyfriend’s crappy ska band logo. / Acquired From: Back seat of said boyfriend’s POS car.

1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.

Our relationship was mutually beneficial: I gave him a son—Yngvar—and he told me my dress wasn’t “too Coachella.”

Grandpa would have appreciated that I identified the lighting near the casket as the best to showcase my stunning collection of floral maxi skirts.

If you’ve timed it right, you will be dead before you hit the floor. Your death will look like that of a hero defending the store from a shoplifter.