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I read a novella, and then I read a novel, and then I wrote a novel, and then I got it published.

Our nuclear plant is verging on meltdown, and the key to stability lies in our vital AWS EC2 instance managed by former employee Ethan Reynolds.

We’ve become one of those vanilla, mass-produced corporate couples we never wanted to be. Our relationship is nothing more than a light-hearted romp.

I think we can all agree that Janet’s character development has been virtually nonexistent since her divorce from Paul.

7:00 AM: Strategize – Inform your boss that you will be working remotely. Why? Get creative.

Grab yerself a seat by the fire, take a swig of this here moonshine, and connect with me on LinkedIn.

I heard you call me a weenie under your breath and that makes it hard for me to focus. Could we all agree to put a moratorium on the word weenie?

I threw out my back yesterday and can’t even move today. I’m going to need to take a sick day. (Translation: My cat is sleeping on my lap)

Do you like charades? Well you’ll love it when my college acquaintance puts "Malcolm Gladwell" in the bowl for you to act out.

Please refrain from kicking the waxwork likeness of Canada’s first Prime Minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, between his legs.

I mean, surely five minutes have already passed since I started this internal monologue. Oh, it’s only been 30 seconds? Well.

How come I could tell where everybody was in space? Did you mean for the shots to make me feel things?