I’m Only on This Dating App Ironically, Unless You’re Interested in Falling in Love or Something
My being here is simply for the lulz and has nothing to do with my ex posting a vacation album with her new boyfriend on social media.
My being here is simply for the lulz and has nothing to do with my ex posting a vacation album with her new boyfriend on social media.
I just don’t think I can morally justify knowingly bringing children into a world where their dad would be me.
Are you picturing the powder keg? Think back to the last time you went out to sea and needed to bring a large amount of gunpowder.
You are about to enter another world. It is a world not of matter, but of hilarious practical jokes. It’s a place we like to call… The Prank Zone.
You came here to read a Les Mis-length exposition on a one-step recipe from an expert in rural boho chic.
I was wondering if we could do this another way. Maybe one that doesn’t require rolling on broken glass or literally lighting each other on fire?
I’ll tell you this about Carson City, pard: if’n you wanna survive on these wild plains, best thing you can do is subscribe to my newsletter.
Some of us are in it for the monk-ing and not the "reluctantly helping to investigate a crime despite the suspicion it draws upon themselves"-ing.
You’ve seen the lows; the fighting, the occasional breakups, and the time Jeff left me at Six Flags and the park closed while I was still inside.
Depending on how gross the thought is, I’ll either do a full “tut tut” or just a simple tongue cluck. It’s an art, really.
Pop open a bottle today. It’s guaranteed to take your mind off the waterspout that’s currently ripping the roof off your neighbor’s house.
Looking back, I can see it was I, not yo momma, who is so dumb that I stood on a chair to raise my IQ.