Great Deal Alert: You Can Have Money If You Debase Yourself
Want to boost your buying power? There’s a simple strategy you may have overlooked: lowering yourself in esteem, quality, or character to get money.
Tag: Featured
So You’re Bored Enough to Read the Back of the Package
We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.
Google Maps Reviews of the Prickleback Nuclear Testing Facility in Sopps-Daisy, Tennessee
Marie__LocalHairgirl9: A huge part of my childhood. I skinny dipped in the reactor pool as a teen and since then I’ve had a 60 foot vertical leap.
Stop! Please Read These Very Specific Instructions Before Using Our Toilet!
Do not stay on the toilet for extended periods. By minute three or four you’re risking a nasty bite.
My Work Day, as Envisioned by the Billionaire CEO
Like our CEO wrote in his “Daily Wake-Up” email, all of our cubicles can be temples of productivity.
My High School Classmate Bought a House—It’s Haunted, but I’m Still Jealous
I think about the cold draft that likely billows through her hallways at night as I sit in this suffocating summer heat.
Despite a Shockingly Low Number of Applicants, You Somehow Did Not Get This Residency
If there was ever a year for you to slip through and get this relatively prestigious residency, it would have been this one.
An Honor to Be Nominated: Why I Must, Regrettfully, Refuse This Blunt
While on the outside I look like I spent a past life as a lava lamp, my insides are as square as an actuary’s lunch box.
“Can’t We Just Like, Blow Up His House?” and Other Things You Apparently Can’t Say to a Friend Going Through a Breakup
"What gives? Let's get fro-yo and drop a piano on him Looney Tunes-style."
I’m Telling You This Is Not a Speakeasy, It’s a Laundromat
I understand that this neighborhood has changed in recent years, and to some, my frontage looks “ironically shambolic” or “intentionally distressed.”
I Used to Be on the Left; Then They Laughed at My Forbidden Experiments
People I trusted to think through issues started quoting slogans I didn’t understand. “The dead are better off remaining dead,” they would say.
My Cryptic Social Media Posts Will Alarm and Confuse You
“Everything must come to an end.” Did I just tell you I’m dying, or that I finished The Legend of Zelda?