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I’m a notorious 1850s Vaudeville impresario known as “The Dean of Mean.” My top rule for performers is “don’t be a snooze.”

I do not rattle off these projections to inspire fear in the public. But we can no longer expect that IP extracted through traditional processes.

Was the Sun clean, odor-free, safe, and professional in appearance? How satisfied were you with your wait time for the Sun to set?

I learned a lot in my four years as Vice President of Relaxation in the Hygiene Department, I wanted to offer some reasons why I’m departing.

Rid thyself of toxins after a night of mirth and meade with Rejuvipure.

“Absolutely gripping—by the time you reach the end, you’ll have no doubt that the main theme in Charlotte’s Web is friendship.”

When someone mentions "that Marquette shot from '97," nod and say something noncommittal like, "Hoo yeah, that ol' can of worms!"

Just kinda set the money bags on your knees. I’d tell you to move the gold-plated racquet holder, but it’s welded to the center console.

Anaconda on "Anaconda" (1997) Hell yeah, brother. ★★★★

Good. Don’t click the link. Now, a wild badger climbs through the break room window and makes a beeline for your unguarded computer.

Whoever wins announces total dominion over all of humanity and also, they get to go first the next round.

New reservations are released four times a year at 2:01 AM on the Winter Solstice, the Summer Solstice, the Spring Equinox, and Armistice Day.