You Can’t Judge a Book by Its Cover, Because They All Just Have the Same Colorful Blobs These Days
It can be tempting to rely on labels, especially when those labels are in stylish sans serif capitals artfully nestled among the colorful blobs.
Tag: Featured
We Wrote This Together!
John came to us by way of Elmo Fuentes, who was really the inspiration for the idea, at least according to Ryan and Ann Nguyen.
All the Flights Are Canceled, Including the One You’re Currently On
We will be booking you at the nearest available destination: a desolate mountainside, now viewable if you look out the left side of the aircraft.
On Second Thought, Swallowing My Car Keys to Avoid Getting Carjacked Was Probably a Bad Idea
There's no way I'm going to pass the anchor-shaped keychain I got from my beach trip.
Please Take Notice: If You Ordered an IHOP Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Breakfast between March 14, 2016 and August 4, 2017, You May Be Entitled to Compensation
If you ate all that, we’re astonished you are alive to read this notice. Your arteries must be as hard as bricks.
A Guide to Avoid Being Mugged for Dummies
Keep all your pockets slick with oil. You can humiliate them further by saying, "What's the matter bud? Can't get a grip?"
Suggestions from the Suggestion Box at My Teppanyaki Restaurant Where I Make All the Food with My Bare Hands
Posting signage around the restaurant that says, “We Pinky Promise We Washed Our Hands Before Returning To Work,” is not comforting.
This Looks Like Yet Another Unpaid Job for Superman!
Unfortunately, I do have to make a living. As it turns out, the only subject I’m really educated on—beyond punching things—is a dying industry.
Banning Me from Game Night Is Nothing Short of an Orwellian Nightmare
I’ve made a few enemies along the way, as evidenced by the group chat telling me not to bring my “musty ass around game night anymore.”
Well, Gang, We Completely Failed to Save the Rec Center
I really believed that a gang of scrappy, oddball teenage underdogs like us could pull this off against all odds.
I Will Funge These Tokens If It’s the Last Thing I Do
By the time I’m through with your tokens, they will be funged beyond recognition. I disrupt the blockchain. I drink your milkshake. I funge your tokens.
Think You Got What It Takes to Join Our Gang, the Crabapple Boys?!
WHAT WE’RE LOOKIN’ FOR… YOU: - Enjoy tippin’ over hot dog carts for craps n’ giggles - Like puttin’ pennies on train tracks and watching ‘em smoosh