This Mirror Is So Relatable
The kind of stuff that happens on the mirror is exactly the kind of stuff I deal with every day.
Tag: Featured
I Think My Boyfriend Is About to Propose or Kill the President
All the signs are there. Darren’s always said our relationship is “the one perfect thing in this godforsaken hellhole of a country.”
I Actually Do Have Time for Your Sick Little Games
I’ve since had a cancellation, opening a slot when I actually COULD play one of your sick little games.
Signs You Are Watching an “Accurate” Movie About the Middle Ages
There is dirt everywhere, all the time. At no point is anybody completely clean (not even the rich people).
Words and Phrases Banned from the U.S. Mint Staff Email Where Employees Print $38 Million a Day for $40,000 a Year
Torture, salivating, aroused. Every second, a sheet of currency worth the amount of my student loans passes me.
Nathaniel Hale Has Some Additional Regrets, Actually
I regret that I have but one chance to offer a high five to the executioner while I’m on the gallows and then say, "Hey, don’t leave me hanging!"
‘Tis True Friar Lawrence Be Mired in the Deaths of Many a Verona Youth, Yet, Verily, I Am Fond of His Herbal Teas
’Tis not with ease’d mind that I imbibe of the Friar’s herbaceous blends, be it “Rosaline’s Unrequited Rosehip” or “Zounds! This Lemon Zingeth!”
I Am the Woman Whose Dog Finds Bodies on Our Morning Walks
I tried hiring dog walkers, but I was banned from all those apps because my dog became infamous for always turning up a corpse or two.
You All Know Nothing About My Perfectly Normal Relationship!
Well, I bet you all felt pretty stupid a month later when we got divorced. You all are just wrong time after time.
An Updated Tax Write-Off Worksheet, by the Nosiest Employee at the IRS
Did you receive Venmo payments from your ex (Handle @MattDereklol46) AFTER you broke up on July 23, 2021?
Introducing the Sam Super Loyalty Card
So wait, I can’t meet with you/speak to you/copulate with you without a loyalty card? Unfortunately not!
Please Help, I’m Still Street Punk #5
Being stuck in character as STREET PUNK #5 for almost forty years has caused me more than a bit of grief.