I’m Arctic Shipwreck Survivor Stranded with an Annoying Show-off Asshole
During my second dinner, Francis told me that we needed to “ration our food better.” I was so taken aback by this.
Tag: Featured
As Your Virtual Doctor, I Can’t Give You the Results of Your Brain Surgery Until You Smash That “Like” Button
Patients need to smash that so my bosses can track the popularity of this service, which will result in more financial support from our advertisers.
How to Tell If That Guy Who Desperately Needs a Kidney Like-Likes You
He asks you about yourself, things like, “Can you give me a kidney?” and, “So how’s about that kidney?”
As the Escaped Felon Hiding in Your Attic, I’m Deeply Concerned About Your Marriage
I was awoken by the sounds of you two screaming at each other. People make less noise being shanked in the shower.
Questions I Had While Attending My Second Basketball Game, After My First Basketball Game Was the One That Air Bud Played In
How many fouls does each player get? Do dogs get the same number of fouls? How much longer until the dogs come out?
Meet the Harlem Globetrotters of Redacted Documents!
Did You Know? "Stress Ball" is indirectly responsible for the death of ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!
Fact or Myth? Setting the Record Straight on Miles Davis
Statement: Miles Davis’ career led to the discovery of acoustic soft-beach rocker Jack Johnson. Ruling: Myth. Again, no.
I Will Bravely Die in a Roman Arena, but Please Don’t Make Me Say “I’m Spartacus” in Front of a Crowd
I just get so nervous, so convinced that I'll reverse "beaten" and "bound," or forget to say "by the sword," and all the guys will laugh at me.
Farm to Table. Table to Fork. Fork to Mouth. Food to Throat. Air to Throat. Hands to Chest. Hands to Chest. Hands to Chest.
Car to driveway. Food to house. Hour to hour. Day to day. Week to week. Month to month. Smell to food. Food to dumpster and so on.
You Can’t Judge a Book by Its Cover, Because They All Just Have the Same Colorful Blobs These Days
It can be tempting to rely on labels, especially when those labels are in stylish sans serif capitals artfully nestled among the colorful blobs.
We Wrote This Together!
John came to us by way of Elmo Fuentes, who was really the inspiration for the idea, at least according to Ryan and Ann Nguyen.
All the Flights Are Canceled, Including the One You’re Currently On
We will be booking you at the nearest available destination: a desolate mountainside, now viewable if you look out the left side of the aircraft.