I’m a Character in a Satirical Monologue and, Frankly, I Could Be So Much More
I know we’ve only got a few hundred words to work with. Surely, though, it wouldn’t take much to give me a bit more personality.
Tag: Featured
Werner Herzog Reviews His Favorite Films of 2021
"The Boss Baby: Family Business" The baby, it enrages me. 9/10
I Miss the Days When Men Were Men and Women Were Something Strange and Terrible We Don’t Dare Discuss
Things were easier then. Parents were parents, children were children, and unlike today’s children, they didn’t grow into adults either.
This Is PayPal, Informing You That Your Account May Be Compromised
Have you been getting some emails that seem Phishy? This is PayPal, btw. The real PayPal. How can you know? You’ll get a gut feeling inside.
The Real Reasons These Inventions Were Created
“I was tired of pissing my pants.” ---Gideon Sundback, zipper (1909)
Lights? Camera? Movie Theaters!
Movie theaters! The birthplace of popcorn. The gasps, the laughs, the slurps of teenagers' tongues attacking each other mere inches from your ear.
Visions I Had After Succumbing to the Madness That Befalls All Men Who Dare Drink the Milk of the Eldest Keebler Elf
If you are offered a chance to suckle at the teat of the eldest Keebler elf, I pray you heed my warning.
Sometimes I Think About My Childhood Best Friend and Wonder “Whatever Happened to That Guy?”
No one was as close to me as Elliott. We were two peas in a pod, a regular pair of pals, two elephants in a diaper.
Things White Men Are Tired of Hearing
Look: I’m white. I’m a man. My home and backyard are filled with dangerous worker bees that produce honey for me. It’s not that unusual.
I Hate Mandela Effect: This Whole Time I Thought “Winnie the Pooh” Was “Weiner the Poop”
I was hesitant about bringing up my favorite books, the "Horny Pottrom" series, but I had to know the truth.
Hey, Did You Take My Yogurt?
Maybe before departing, the yogurt left a note for its live-in yogurt boyfriend, who was at his company kickball league going absolutely beast mode.
What She Really Wants This Ides of March
A quiet night in with 60 or more Roman Senators – Don't overthink it! If she's a down-to-earth type, this all she wants on March 15.