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Kevin’s voice sounds like Dad’s. Except it cracks walls and sets off car alarms, and also he accidentally stepped on a school bus.

While UBO might not be part of the “Ivy League,” it is part of something called the “Platinum Preferred Double Points Club."

Day 2,121: In my book, only cowards change their email when a better and more convenient option becomes available.

And she did reply, "No, they are of no concern to us. Let them wander in the desert. We shall begin… Project Babylon."

If you care deeply about results and have at least four buddies named Tyler, we can’t wait to meet you.

As you level up, possible life paths include True Crime Podcasting and Stay-At-Home Child.

Now, there was another creature I longed to ride, ____________ [normal man’s name except all vowels replaced with Ys].

I’ll cut to the chase-Please stop running blackjack tables out of the CubeSmart.

I'll never forget how safe you made me feel, the way you blocked the SGLT2 found in the proximal tubules of nephrotic components in my kidneys.

We found out that for a whole six months of junior year you got really, really into Doctor Who and Sherlock. Like, fanfiction level.

Remember: if our competitors are not fined out of existence, then your friends and neighbors died for nothing.

Popular squat varietals include Back Squats, Front Squats, and Boot Cut.